She…

Is...


Constantly searching for answers. Constantly questioning surroundings…..places…things.

Always curious.

Always distracted.

Mind bobbling and rattling with ideas. Ideas that come and go. But ones that never really stick.

She desires attention.

She’s not sure what kind. Just any kind.

She reaches out to people for validation of herself without knowing. For comfort.

Beautiful.

Wandering, sparkling brown eyes. Full lips. Bright smile. Lights up her face.

Upbeat.

In small ways and big ways.

Talented.

That’s scattered in different things. Poetic in certain emotions that are expressed.

Anxious.

For everything. Anything.

Aching for change. But changing nothing.

Excitement.

She shows. She likes.

Naive.

Her eyes light up to new things. Growing more curious. Unaware of consequences.

Unknown.
To others. Herself.

Stuck.

In her mind. In her expectations. In her demons. In her betrayal. In her regret.

She.

Is……

Yearning.

For self assurance. Accomplishments.

Guidance.

I…
Want to…


Show her realization. Reality. Art.

Beauty.

In herself. In her talent. In her aspirations.

Patience.

In her skills. In her growth. With her mind. With her future.

Peace.

Within herself. With her past. With her doubts.

Show her that….


She…
Is….

A Diamond in the Rough.

That she has to fall down. To get back up.

To brush herself off. To want to keep going.

On one path at a time…with one foot at a time.

To stop running.

In her mind. With her thoughts. With her feelings. With her analysis of herself.


That it is ok…

to move slow. To take her time. To perfect her craft. With one desire at a time.

She…

Is…

A work of Art that requires time.


She….

is….

Beautiful.

How are you?
I'm alright I guess...

Where do we begin?
Maybe at the start of this mess.

Are you uncomfortable?
I can't say that I'm not.

Is it your past?
Well it's all I've got.

Do you still get nightmares?
Well I used to...

Will you let them show?
Depends on you...

What do you hope to accomplish?
I don't know... Peace of mind?

Would you have done things differently?
Everyone wants the chance to push "rewind".

Care to elaborate?
Let's just say I would've liked to be braver.

What do you mean?
I should've stood up to my father...

Did he abuse your trust?
He did more than just that...

Rob you of your freedom?
Let's see... His belt, cigarettes and also boiling water out of a vat.

Do you wish him ill?
I wished him dead.

"Wished"?
Yeah...in his bed.

Why "wished"?
Because I wanted that then...

For how long?
Since I was ten.

What about now?
(Maniacal smile) I am now... At peace.

"At peace"?
I have found release.

You have?
Yes... I couldn't resist the urge.

Urge to do what?
To comply with the voice... "Freedom...lies in the purge..."

You left your father?
Yes but not before...

Go on...*
Not before I slit his throat with a smile on my face as I shut the door...

If you really wish to be with me,
You must know certain things.

Like my insecurities
Rules most of my personality.

I'm bipolar,
When I am happy,
It's like happiness is right next to me.
But when I'm sad,
It's like I've never felt happiness.

When I am with you though,
It's like happiness is completely in your control.

I'm singing this sad song,
My days have become so long.

I've been singing this sad song,
It's become very wrong.

I believe my sad song,
Has become much too long.

I love you,
More than an astrologer,
Loves the sky.

I love you,
More than an lawyer,
Loves arguing.

I love you,
More than a cow,
Loves to eat.

I love you,
More than a banker,
Loves money.

I love you,
More than you,
Love me.

Not being trusted,
It alone is enough to put a strong man on his knees.

What if the illnesses,
Were human?

Would depression be an emo kid,
With long black hair, and dark clothes?

Would he hide out alone,
Finding comfort in things that bring others misery?

Would bipolar be popular,
Then unpopular the next day?

Would he hang out with different people,
Every other day?

Would anxiety be a kid,
Would he hide in a hoodie,
Fearing what lurks around every corner?

Would he be sporty to get out the energy,
Or would he be very cautious,
Always picking at something.

Would ADHD be a kid,
Shaking so fast you could hardly see him?

Would he be sporty,
Trying to get out all his energy?

What you wouldn't realize
Is most of us are our disorders,
But only because we let them consume us.