Ain't no reason
or particular season
to the rhyme...
but my head is heavy-
and my heart is rotten
to the core.

There's holes in my pages
where there once were words-
the book worms got 'em
and left me empty...

I asked ***** Joe for a light,
but his flint wore out
on the road into Fallujah.
Now he's rotten to the corps-
he can't hear us anymore...
a secret, silent sentry.

r ~ 8/22/14

I moved him in all the ways he wanted to move, but just couldn't.
I moved him the way the wind moves the newly freed leaves in October.
He swayed and he swayed and he swayed.

Tell me we are nothing.
Tell me we are nothing so I won't have to worry where you are going when you say you can't tonight,
When you cancel last minute,
When you make strange excuses.
Tell me we are nothing so I don't get invested and I don't think about what I'll wear when I see you or what you're doing right now.
Please, please, tell me we are nothing so I don't cry when you disappear, so I don't tell you everything, so I don't think I am special.  
Please tell me we are nothing.
I don't want to fall asleep with you and just be a shadow in the background of your love.
Please tell me we are nothing.
Please.
Please.
Please.

My sadness is what keeps me sane,
Welcome back, my loving pain.
I lost myself without you again,
I was just mixed media in a golden frame.
Winter is soon,
I'm so glad you came through,
I am not me when I am apart from you.
My dear, it's been so long, I smiled for weeks,
In summer I reached my all time peaks,
I forgot about you, and I don't know how,
You're the only reason I stick around,
You're the only one I need to keep,
Prey on me until I fall asleep.

A few months ago
I was counting the days
until you left
because your lack of presence
would have been a better present
than the one you didn't give me
for my birthday this year

Every night I would wait
for the day to come
when you wouldn't be near
as if your body was in my bed
pressing down on my chest
until I could no longer breathe

Hating your best friend
will not hurt them
but it will twist your own heart
in ways you never thought possible
and you will pray on stars with fingers crossed
that it might break
or better
stop beating

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
and the tears in our blanket
and the tears in our eyes
have been thoughtlessly mended
with intertwined fingers
in basement bathrooms of bars
we couldn't find again
with a map to guide us

Tomorrow you'll leave me
and move on to adventures
more exciting
than drunk searches
for familiar faces
on streets we could draw perfectly
with blurred vision

I hate to say I'll miss you
and I hate more to see you go
but your darkness was always
darker than mine
and your light was always
too bright for me to look at
so I hope the contrast
of the rainy days and the sunshine
fills you up
in a way nothing else ever has

You were born to fly away
but never given the chance
so I hope you find
that the airplane wings
fit you just right

I hope you accidentally leave
the little broken pieces of yourself
on the cobblestone in London
and in the fountains of Rome
and do not realize it
until you return home

I wish you the best
and the same for myself
because two flowers
cannot grow
in one ***
but if grown separately
they can one day
make a beautiful bouquet

Before leaving,
Pen a poem,
Script a story,
Produce a pyramid,
Manage a milestone,
Fix a fence,
Pose for a picture,
Build a boat.
I'll remember you,
Not to worry.
You'd remember me too.
But images of walls
Brain splattered,
***** on your face,
Cinched belt, alone, or
With needle
Will certainly work too,
But for the wrong reasons.
That's why King Hamlet
Had to return and ask:
“Remember me.”
He was looking for
Understanding,
And we know how that
Ended.