mumu - Hello Poetry

Jun 2018

Nicole

Waking up to a heavy chest
My body begging me to sleep again
And my anxiety begins the second I realize I'm alive
I'm trying to learn to function
With all of this negative energy inside me
I know it'll pass and
I know it'll get better
But right now it hurts
I feel unloved
Unloveable
I feel lost inside myself
A place I can't stay too long
Before I lose my mind
I can tell myself I'm worth it and
That my worth isn't defined by others
And it works for a bit
Until something else comes up and
My heart loses its energy
And I either feel like giving up
Or ready to fight everyone

#depression #sad #hurt #pain #love #empty

mumu Jun 2018

To Become a Bubble

Beautiful and transparent
Lightweight and floating
Pops to make everyone happy
I envy bubbles

I wanted to become a bubble
Showing off transparently
Telling myself I'm pretty
Without judgement from anybody

I wanted to become a bubble
Flying so freely
Going up up up, highly
Makes people so bubbly

I wanted to become a bubble
When the pressure is on me
I will burst, quietly
Leaving my space lovely and empty

I wanted to become a bubble
I'm scared to be a bubble

Have you ever see yourself as a bubble. Because most of tht time, I see myself as a bubble.
Living and floating freely then,you will POP! because the pressure on you was too much to handle. You will disappear, leaving your space so empty. But, people around you will not cry because you are a bubble after all, when you POP! You make everyone happy.

#suicide #depression #thoughts #mentalhealth

mumu Jun 2018

Untitled

Tonight
I'm wearing a black see-through dress
I looked in the mirror, I thought I will see myself
Brown skin
Short legs
Fat bellies
My insecurities
But I know this is not me, I know
I take a knife and peel myself
I started to my ring finger
Skin stretched to my elbow
I'm not crying
I'm hurting
Blood's dripping
Tears are not falling
I thought I have a fresh red flesh
But it is black
Blacker than black
And I'm laughing
Because this is me, the real me.
How did this happened?
Maybe I breathe the air I thought that was air
Or drink the water I thought that was water
Or eat the food I thought was food
Or maybe..
I was rottening in hell. Alive.
But this is me. The real me
And my skin covers more than what I know
And my dress cover more than my insecurities
And myself covers myself
Tomorrow
I will not wear my see-through dress again

mumu Jun 2018

From PH with (love) Blood

This sea is for us
You have guns and we have none
Give fish or be shot

Note: This poem is about how Chinese Costguards are threathening, bullying, harrassing and snatching the fishes caught by the Filipino fishermen in Panatag Shoal ( located at South China Sea but belongs to the Philippines). It's really heart wrenching to know that does hardworkibg fishermen went to the sea with nothing and went back to their family with still nothing. All because the Chinese abused their powers and became the pirate of the sea. And hello to the Philippine Government, they are Buttlicking the PRC. They keep on telling that what China did was not wrong, and nothing is wrong. But, hey there is something rotten overthere! The Filipino Fishermen cannot sail on their own sea, what is that?!

mumu Jun 2018

a reason to stay...

How many days have you been alive
In this world where your parents put you in without your consent
I guess million days like I am

How many times you've been on ****** days
Where everything is ****** up from day to night
Thousand times, right?

How many people called you, bullied you
Leaving words a mark on your every part
I bet a hundred

How many demons you have in yor mind right now
Whispering you to end things
Assuring you
Lying to you
I know it's not lower than ten

How many YOUs do we have
That makes everything so lovely with a smile
We only have ONE

You may have a billion reason to end yourself
But your existence that makes people around you so lovely is the most beautiful reason why you don't have to.

I am happy to feel your existence

#suicide #depression #existence

mumu Jun 2018

Mulan

She was born to be a lady
But raised to have a military body
She killed thousands of enemies
Brought hundred of heads to the king
And her reward was only praising
When she went home, her father told
"Change yourelf and look for husband now"
Stabbing his heart was her answer
She undressed herself and cut her breast and said
"You can't tell me what to do,
This my life and this how I'll live"

I love Mulan. Let's just regard the Disney movie because it really *****. They gave her a too soft personality which is too far from the real story where she really has a strong one. But , I'm still looking forward for the live action of this story.

P.S. Hey, mind to check my poetry collection "Princess and Gore". I'm just turning my/ur favorite princess into sadistic and horror one. Thank you. :)

#mulan #sadistic #horror #princessandgore