Once,
I open my eyes,
The world are so dark,
There are no stars,
There's no moon.
While I wonder
where's the stars and the moon at,
The air hit and turn my face,
Towards a group of people
that once
hurt me,
try to **** me every day,
and even made me cry.

In that space and place,
I am watching their body "covered" with fire,
they're dancing in front of me,
THEY SCREAM IN FRONT OF ME,
I couldn't stop smiling,
my heart couldn't stop beating "happily".
Then I watch them swim in a pool,
the pool are full of acid,
their skin torn out "smoothly",
their blood mixed very well,
that's make the "view" more mesmerizing
and I love it.
but

it's disappointed,
it's just a DREAM,
it's only my desire with some IMAGINATION,
and lucky it's only "hit" me once only.
While I'm hoping the dream come again,
my skin torn out
instead of them,
feel like it's never end.
The reality spoke clearly and loudly,
Pain was destined for me.
and I couldn't run from it.
not even a mile.

Its begin with an action,
Start with the strongest grip
and hold on to it for a long time.
As much I want to stay strong,
I do feel out of energy and shaking sometimes ha ha.

Wearing a lot of covers,
Layer after layer
hiding all the bruises very well,
Till the day all hits me,
Torn my covers to shred,
I feel so weak naked.

Today is the day,
I've lost my grip,
Feel so weak and lost,
I am alone with a few voice playing,
Couldn't resist less to write it down
To let the thoughts fly and go away,
Then hold onto it over and over again.
With a new thick cover I am wearing.

Hey,
Here i am thinking,
Is it a good thing?
Or not ?
Just who i am right now?
Here i am wondering,
Am i on the right path?
Maybe yes or maybe not?
Then when is the ending?

All the questions and thoughts,
They come like bullets,
Dancing like ballet,
Slowly, beautifully and suddenly
its become sorrow.
Lingering around my mind and
flowing through my vein,
Then here comes the precious droplets.

At some point, it'll stop.
Gone with no answer.
With no any tracker.
Then its just me alone,
Looking to sky and hold tight,
Hoping that "Everything will be fine",
Just fine.

"Physically" flawless,
makes people be so shameless.
Mentally madness,
because love is the craziest.
Through the sky and the moon,
There are so many beautiful things,
Some of it I couldn't understand,
and some of it not even "shine".

When the night cover the blue sky,
Billions of stars are "blooming",
Billions of thoughts are coming,
And makes me thinking,

"Wish i could count all the stars and all my scars".

Its just at the end of the day,
Let's just put a fullstop for the day cause tomorrow is waiting,
Till the eyes close,
May all the thoughts be my "lullaby".

When I work by myself,
I feel like I am lonely,
Could feel the wind dancing,
Could feel the feelings I should not feel,
Could have thought of million things,
And missing the touch between the other's skin.

While,

When I am surround by people,
Curses become goodnight wishes,
Love become painful and heartless,
Fighting is the main course,
Dark is our source,
And Light is not for us.

What,
What should I choose?,

Where,
Where should I go?,

Who,
Who should I be with?,

The answer?
I still don't know,
I am clueless,
Just following all the endless road,
With heart full of hopes,
May the ending bring all the "pieces".