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AF Jan 14
“I’m in my third year of college…” I answered, taking a quick gulp of my wine and disguising it as a sip. (Success is finishing a bottle of Pinot Noir with two of your friends in under 15 minutes). “So, what do you want to do with your degree?” My nosey aunt said. And the words came straight out of her nose.  “I… I want to be a lawyer.” (Success is believing in the existence of a free market). “I’m so smart, I know I could do it! Hashtag, girl boss.” The voice in my head continued playing like a CD. “Are they feeding you in New York? You look so thin.” (Success is a Saint, but alas, I’m a sinner). I replied, “I moved out of Rochester because I wanted to be invisible and feel free from the constraints of my past”. “You’re so pretty, why don’t you smile more?” A construction worker yells at me as I walk by. Then, my voice speaks for me again. “I hope that scaffolding falls on you, *******”. (Success is a drunk walk back home, crying on Broadway in your leather boots, and no one asking you if you’re okay).
An imitation poem I wrote for a class, based on "Stadia After All" by Sandy Brown.
AF Jan 4
love is far away
in a desert where the night
is as black as his heart.
where I can see the stars
just as clearly as the cloudy façade
you put up for the world.

love is a plane ride to the West
where those turbulent winds feel steadier
than anything I've ever felt in my life.

love is high and distant
home is sober and consistent

but home is oh-so-close
just a few hours away,
a loathing I love
home is near.
AF Oct 2021
i hope you see my face
in the clouds one day,
maybe i'm gone
and you're still there.
AF Nov 2020
sting my flesh with your hand
I’ll turn the other cheek
breathe only when I say you can
let you dictate how I speak
you be the woman, I’ll be your man
AF Nov 2020
an unexpected visit from Venus
a line of beautiful women,
clad in the most gentle pink
like peonies in the springtime
ever-blooming in the heart
AF Sep 2020
air on my limbs
as a i reach out to
clean my windows
i cried,
masticating is coping for me.
i felt like i didn't
deserve your touch
or kindness
grateful yet bewildered,
content yet upset.
you saw through
my windows, the massive
buildings take up space and time as
my transparency became
known to you
i wrote this last year about my ex-boyfriend, i tend to fall head over heels quickly but whoever reads this, i hope you enjoy
AF Sep 2020
firestarter and match,
pitching endlessly to become more
smoke, then intense crimson flames,
aglow in my heart.
brick and stone edifices form a
fortress around abodes
leaving habitats adrift
and alone
passing and switching faces -- an
entourage that follows but yet
the girl is alone.
alas, fire ablaze, uncontrollable but
sometimes tame
marking the forest trail and
spreading the damage, sprout and then destroy
like a fiery divine being
destruction of the old path and
a clean sweep of the
trees that once seemed so formidable
the flame spreads with a staunch
persistence, to maybe prove that
yeah, the water is weaker
like a conquistador who
pillages countries leaving them
the flame continues
no concern about the consequence or
destruction, set on being set and
ever aglow, what puts the fierce fire
out anyways?
this started as a tribute to my triple fire placements, some dreams i've had, etc. i am a sagittarius sun, leo moon, and sagittarius rising. i've got a lot of fire inside of me and sometimes it feels like a relentless urge that i must repress 24/7. it's not that i feel misunderstood, just that this fire inside of me has been burning since my very conception. i am ever the more forced to live with it as i grow up and surround myself with different types of people.
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