As the world dissolves into the vanity,
the speech is slurred and he can't really pay attention.
His eyes can't cease to get a mention,birds twitter coz his voice sounds better when day ends.
I really can't say when,
but since then he's been trapped..inside his mind he lives in the Garden of Weeden.
Trapped trapped trapped inside the walls of his subconscious mind, the garden of weeden, his nirvana, safe haven. Smoke inhaled, never exhaling, hold on tight, fingers clenched until the burning sensation makes him pay attention, I am saved, the garden of weeden, my nirvana.
Nirvana took my bravado,
I know I got what fuckboys don't.
When vaporised my words make them choke,
loss of their greatest hopes for what's dope.
Freedom stays cloaked in corrogated iron sheets,in a deep sleep induced by so-called "sweet dreams",but he astrals through this dimension.

Dimentia came and so did Fester,
their brains can't seem to process the controversial words.

But he does,
coz he's just on the highest peak of consciousness.
At his highest peak of consciousness, his kundalini risen, chakra's in alignment, he saw it all, the lies, the truth every ******* thing so clear to him, overwhelming to say the least, cathartic, he became catharsis.

My heart she owns that, my everything she has it all, my mind may stray but you know what they say about how home is where the heart is, the gravitational pull towards her, my ****, I cannot stay away, I will not stay away. Nirvanainabottle, my supposed heaven, correctly worded my nirvana, I love you. I ******* love you.

silent afters. sza. tears rolling down my face into a never ending abyss. 
I miss you, i really ******* miss you. it's messing with my mind. 
I miss you so so much. 

silent afters. silent afters. silent afters. 
nothing silent about them, the silence. the bane of my existence. the emptiness right next to my coffee cup. too loud, the silence. the silence is too loud. 
 silent afters. lessons learned. I would love and live for you all over again, silent afters lessons learned. the nothingness leaves me cold and empty and nothing. 
lessons learned, none. 
you were something. something worth doing again. all over again. 
you were really something. 

silent afters. no regrets. just nothingness. with a slight bitterness of what ifs.
 what if I hadn't. where would I be. I doubt I'd be anywhere special, highly spirited sense. some things we refuse to take back. I could never, I would never.

you live for the silent afters, i hate when you don't speak to me, i hate it when you walk away, i am falling in love with the back of your head. 
i love you.

breathing in way to many fumes of unfinished poems, forgotten lovers. i miss you. 

i'm trying with everything in me to refrain from showering you in metaphors and similes. 
i'm trying to keep this pen from spewing truth about how i like my morning coffee black like my heart without you or like the beautiful color of your hair. 
i don't want to spew truth about how your every bit of the word serendipity how i became cathartic with you. how you come second to none to the sun. how every cloud of smoke blown out of my mouth at 12am reminds me of you after a few pills and how that's when i love you most 'cause that? that's where all the truth comes. i don't want to tell you about how the flower i passed on my walk the other day made me stop and think of you and me and the future we could have. i don't. 
 
i want to tell you the truth i want to tell you everything i feel without the metaphors, similes. i want to tell you what my heart feels without any attachment to anything else but you. i love you.

writers block. 
I'm sorry. 
q.m

it tears me to pieces.
it literally ***** the life out of me.
 i am already so broken; having to forget another person i love? that will destroy me. 

she said ; the next one you open up too will have to pay for that. 
 you cannot fully forget; you distract yourself from thinking. you distract yourself to keep yourself sane. 

I am on this path of destruction and it is fueled by sadness.
   soon there will be nothing left of me. 
   that scares me. a lot.

Pick Up The Microphone

  Pick up the microphone,
hear me speak,
I see you looking at me,
feeding me the words coming out of my mouth,
feeding off of my energy, the hype,
catharsis personified is what you are in that moment.
I digressed but yeah correct me if needs be.

If needs be,
Words?
Where we have Mr.Ease and Difficulty,
Then the least they do is hug me.

Pick up the microphone,
Noises spoke,
Voices wrote,
The philosophy,
And the etymology,
To shine with glitter by the twang which is spoken,
From pretty little girls that provoke them,

Pick up the microphone,
Give birth to the word which is answered,
Give in the words to be renowned and,.
be free with the verb that has  inaugurated me,

With this personal noun stands my identity,
My adjective accommodating the quality,
Adverb knowing the effect of me,
So,the next time you blur vision, to get a vivid state of mind.
You better PICK UP THAT MICROPHONE .

Dear love
I'm here on the coast
Staring at the stars in the night sky
I'll watch the moon off the horizon
And I'll be faced with reality
When the sunrises ..
Cause I'm just a ship anchored off the coast
While you off sailing the seas
Seeing all the wounders in these waters
I'll weather these storms while your gone
I'll hope that one day I'll see your sail off the horizon .
And pray that all these storms I've  weathered will bring you back to me .

I remember a time I loved life
Loved everyone ..
Remember when I felt
When I was someone

Now these days
I'm full of hate
Full of pain
Mentally and physical pain
I feel nothing now
I am nothing

Once lovers
Now barely friends
One loves
The other careless
Promise made he will keep
While she rolls in the sheets

She uses his love
Cause she knows it won't fade
He fights for her to have her way

It's plain and clear
If you can't see
That the " He "
Is really me.