it tears me to pieces.
it literally ***** the life out of me.
 i am already so broken; having to forget another person i love? that will destroy me. 

she said ; the next one you open up too will have to pay for that. 
 you cannot fully forget; you distract yourself from thinking. you distract yourself to keep yourself sane. 

I am on this path of destruction and it is fueled by sadness.
   soon there will be nothing left of me. 
   that scares me. a lot.