Reaching up from hell’s gates
I’m gripping onto sunshine
So tightly, I can’t feel my hand
The sun blinds my eyes, but I feel fine
I got so lost in clouds of smoke and drowned in each shot glass
Now that the sky is clear and my bottles dry
I know which ways up and which ways down
I rode on the devil’s back, he brought me everywhere
I’ve seen the worst and felt it too
It’s only up from here
When you’ve bathed in the red hot depths of hell anywhere else is paradise

the guilt is heavy in my chest.
I feel *****. used. greedy.
I don’t do it on purpose.
my mind leaves me momentarily.
I was far far away.
too far to run and stop myself.
I let the moment consume me.
now the guilt will overrule me.
the shame is hard to hold.
I feel disgusting and cold.
let the darkness surround me.
like the arms of the boy that hardly knew me.

Wild wild horses couldn't drag me away
So please baby won't you stay?
God if you're up there take this pain away
Every second it's closer to the day
that my baby leaves and starts his life far far away
Wild wild houses couldn't drag me away
Reality is too cruel
Let's run away together, far far away

I want to have reasons for my emotions
Please stir my *** to put a face on my feelings
I'm upset when I have no reason and angry when I'm at peace
Give me an answer for this fire flaming in my stomach
Arson.

​
Time changes everything and I know you aren't the same person I once loved. You are different I love someone else, someone that is living, still, but stuck in the summertime. I wish I could see him again, but I can't time travel or believe me I would.

The truck to the right is lumbering on beside me
Inches away
The red toyota camry to the the left drifting near
This is how it feels for me to be close with you
Claustrophobic

I see your eyes painting over me with a picture of her when you look at me
I feel your energy being pulled somewhere far away when you’re touching me
Maybe back to June
I know you want to feel something
But your feelings are busy with her
You don’t have too many to spare with me
I’m standing right here waiting for you to fall into my gravity
But you’re stuck in someone else’s orbit
The month is June, just 12 months later
The day is the same, but the girl is colder