I wait on wings
With borrow time
Every flap
Out of line

I dance on oceans
Made of glass
Every step
To make time pass

I breathe in air
Of yesterdays
And sing the songs
No one prays

lean boys with bruised skin line the walls—
he turns; last five dollars already to the funhouse manager
(thank you, ma'am)
he reminds himself not to inhale, for fear that he will remember the emptiness of the carpet beneath his feet and in his throat and in his eyes
indulging worst nightmares seemed like a better idea on the fields of the fairground,
where he couldn't escape shifting eyes and spun pink silk and the bloating in the photos that the medical examiner took when his body washed up onshore
he is surrounded when his eyes are closed,
with the water by the beach, inhaling like he'll never breathe again and he breathes you in, you in every state of matter
melted eyes and cheap cologne; and he is drenched in the molasses voice he knew in another life,
before
before
when he was young and glittering
when he was untouchable
immortal
the mirrors reflect luxury in the form of decent highs and indecent clothes and
movement in the night as they never stop;
heaven to africa, and not back again

a thousand eyes follow you from newly waxed floors
and trail after me with form-filled labels, white on gold
take as needed; do not operate machinery; relax.
the shadows follow our steps, ***** and blood next to God’s poster love.
pin it to the bathroom wall: peccavi, peccavi

two years, fifteen minutes, miles of scars.
we sleep through the days, and whisper
of nights before the hurricane

("what happened to those two?")
                                                     ("Deus misereatur, the storm took them.")

I daydream of sinking my teeth into the flesh of redemption,
to rip muscle from immaculate bone.
can we not move on?
copper denial drips from our jaws.

and Deo gratias, they say, you survived.
limbless and naked on tiled floors.
Deo gratias et Deus mortuus est.
survival is in our veins.

I watch you waiting in LCD purgatory
as you see my fingers bleed into the vinyl shielded couches of the 12am ER

perception through observation — I let you reveal who I am.
what am I feeling? how do I act?
breathing through each other with liquor in our lungs.
I know how the bile tastes in your throat,
and you know the burn of the whiskey on my tongue

why do we still reach for walls
where cicada-shell notices cling with scotch tape?
take a number and restore the riches;
leave the room and tear them down.

who but God can build over the ruins of fallen cities, fallen worlds?
and ora pro nobis, He is yet unwelcome here.


we are holy, in our own names we pray, and Hallelujah, we are saved

I live for two hours, five hours, bite to bleed.
A cryogenic coma until we begin.

Arguing in vain with the town around me,
over nothing able to be justified, and he and I don't care;
reveling in the confusion of the tri-city area—
drowning our egos and taking our time
until we truce with razor smiles; shift
to removing tongues with pliers in our words.
(living amputation and too much diet coke)

Shouted disclaimers spread to the rest of the state,
in case they never wondered how it feels
to watch a living heart exposed.
He gleamed gold with self-confidence as he cracked his knuckles.
"I'd like someone to hit me, y'know?"
Next to him, Tallahassee rolls her eyes, Tampa looks away.
(I catch his stare. Deo gratias. Deo gratias. Father, Son, and Violent Thoughts.)
Thank God, I whisper, and I am yelling.
He is split from throat to hip and I drain his open truth.

Speaker static shifts the room,
podium to floor.
This isn't over, he says, and we laugh
because nothing we ever say can be proven,
and we intend to prove it all.