the autumn broods,
moody, full of leaf.
the sky sinks like
a silver ghost,
drinks its pools of
frost, its moments
full of dream.
opening your arms
a venus fly trap
engulfing me with your
partiality and tiredness
we speak the
when we're sleeping
we fall into the same
dark place and find
a compilation of
i want you
despite what the
changing signs at night
obscure traffic patterns
and pillow talk
i worry because
i can't piece you together
the best dream
you loved me
the way a 19
year old needed to be loved
in the middle of self doubt
and ***-**** p.a.
a piece of work. i need work. and you're working with me.
perhaps i had it all backwards,
and we are not the more evolved spirits of animals, and animals are not the more evolved spirits of plants
perhaps we are trying to become that which a plant already is:
a converter of suffering into purity, of darkness into light
just as with each in-breath, the plant takes in my suffering
and on exhale, converts it into loving oxygen,
which we drink in hungrily, yet unknowingly,
and just as each spiraling ray of sun is synthesized into pure life energy,
relinquishing the need for consumption of another self,
perhaps we too need to become more like plants,
and not the other way around.
as aspiring plant-beings,
we too can breathe in all that is
and exhale all that is to become.
I have kissed boys
People in between
But lately I have been kissing bottles
Their lips are colder than yours
But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest
Yet as these toxins rush through my veins
I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin
Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me
But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin
Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know
There are specks of light in my coffee.
The basket by the front door is filled with empty and
As you left for work I rushed to give you
My body--So you wouldn't forget the warmth you generate in me--
So you wouldn't go searching for another fireplace to rest by.
Baby, there will be tea and cookies when you come back.
I'll be here,
Thick mascara and blood lipstick,
To welcome you inside me.
Whatever it takes to get you high--
Drugs and sugar,
Swimming in my tears,
pools of love.
When you left and took your work,
Neatly tucked away in slender, leather pockets,
You didn't lock my eyes like you used to do.
I squeezed so tight to that image of you that
A pearl was born from my palm out of anguish.
Lets talk about nothing,
You are the silence that fills the gap between my thighs.
I'll keep emptying my gut to make space for you until you tell me stop.
Inspired by Mitski, boy, do her lyrics hit home.
it all falls to ash
and spreads across my feet
painting my toes
each in different shades of grey
i lost count of all the minutes i wasted
daydreaming about boys
living some sort of played out fantasy in my head
and a man
and a family
my life is a terrible joke
i don't find it funny,
but there's just no way
any of this can be real
this old heart of mine
is beating more slowly every day
shaving minutes off my hours
and slicing months off of my years
i'm not sure i can even find my face
underneath the tears
i only wish i didn't regret
so much of what i've done