Emerald eyes are home
in yours. You have a torn wing,
melancholy eyes.

A pair of torn wings
holds only the most raw truth
about life and loss.

Rivers down your cheeks
and nothing but pure sorrow.
Later, bringing joy.

I dropped more today.
From the gelatinous 180 last August
To my blubbery 156
I thought this would go faster.
She told me it would.

Emily is like this corpse, you see…
How they’re always on your mind, haunting.
Her ***** stained face, flashes, like a memory
“This is where you’ll end up. Just ******* wait.”

I’m not scared. I promise.
But I don’t trust her pretty.
Not completely.



UPDATE:

I tried to ignore the urge to throw up.
But now that I gained all of my weight back,
I'm throwing caution to the wind,
going to college and
starving this fat away.

I pledge 177 to plunge to 140 by Thanksgiving.

Without hope, everyone would give up and die.
Without hope all would be lost so why try .
Without hope there would be no love at all.
Without hope all would be lost only despair.
Without hope your life would be empty.
But there is Hope, his name is Jesus Christ.
There is Hope, so all is not lost for he is good.
There is Hope in God the creator of the universe.
There is Hope so I shall get up and rejoice.

I should be happy.

I woke up alive and well,
I should be happy.

I have new books to read,
I should be happy.

I have 490 songs on my iPod,
I should be happy.

I have good grades in school,
I should be happy.

I have friends who I can talk to and fangirl with,
I should be happy.

I'm young, I have my whole life ahead of me,
I should be happy.

I should be happy,
I'm not happy.

(a.d)

Stasis in darkness.
Then the substanceless blue
Pour of tor and distances.

God's lioness,
How one we grow,
Pivot of heels and knees! -- The furrow

Splits and passes, sister to
The brown arc
Of the neck I cannot catch,

******-eye
Berries cast dark
Hooks ----

Black sweet blood mouthfuls,
Shadows.
Something else

Hauls me through air ----
Thighs, hair;
Flakes from my heels.

White
Godiva, I unpeel ----
Dead hands, dead stringencies.

And now I
Foam to wheat, a glitter of seas.
The child's cry

Melts in the wall.
And I
Am the arrow,

The dew that flies,
Suicidal, at one with the drive
Into the red

Eye, the cauldron of morning.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"