Let's make a deal,
You won't try to fix me and
I won't try to change you.

We're not going to fix each other.

What we can do,
Is make love until our cracks are
Indistinguishable.

We might never be whole
But we could love
Like we are.

Dear K,

**** I miss when we were happy.
The morning calls and midnight "can't sleep" texts.
I miss when you used to call me baby instead of just...
Michael.
My name has never sounded so cold.
I miss the way you used to look at me,
The excitement in your eyes, back when I was able
To make you feel alive.
But most of all, I miss you.
The you that you used to be, before I
Turned you into the you
That doesn't miss me.

-Michael

Dear K,

I remember the first time I saw you,
You were wearing a white shirt under
A black winter coat with a scarf wrapped
Around your neck. I was sitting on that
Bar stool surrounded by people when
You tapped me on the shoulder. I turned
Around and the crowd disappeared.
Suddenly it was just you, suddenly it was just us.
Since then the world just doesn't seem to
Exist outside of your beautiful smile,
No music but your voice, No stars but your eyes.
No one but you, no one but us.
I knew from the second you sat down in front of me
That I was going to fall and fall hard.
And here were are, so much time has passed and
I'm still falling every single day.
And the world has never been so empty.
And the world has never been so full.

-Michael

Dear K,

Not a day passes that I don't feel
You surrounding my world.
A gentle breeze wisps across my face
And I'm reminded of your soft hands.
Those palms i used to rest my head in.
I could sleep forever in your hands.
I'm convinced I did fall asleep long ago,
Since the first time I laid in your arms
I've been dreaming and I pray nothing
Will ever wake me from this slumber.
The foods I eat take my lips on a journey,
Remembering the sweet taste of your
Grapefruit lip balm. How fitting it was,
The various tropical fruits you tasted like,
Because your kiss was always paradise to me.
Not a single day passes, my love.

-Michael

I've lived a lot of years
Before finding you.
So I know it's hard to believe
When I say you're the
Love of my life.
You might not think it
Applies to all my years
Before you
But stick around and you'll see
It applies to the rest of them.

This is not just paper.
These are not just words.

This is where I live;
The house I've built
And these are my bricks.

The only home I'm never alone in
Because you live here with me.

They say love is blind.
If love is blind why is it that
I see her in the faces of strangers.
In the places I go, In the foods
I eat. I see her in the shows we used
To watch together and the
Books we were supposed to read.
If love is blind,
How is it I see her
The second I open my eyes.
Blind? I'm not buying that.

Tell me,
How did you get so much power?
How your voice shapes my day like
My hours are clay in your
Beautiful hands.
Because it's not a good morning
Until those words dance off your tongue
Into my awaiting ears
And without them,
My morning feels a lot more like
Mourning.

Every night I lay in bed
Fighting between two choices.
Trying to decide what will hurt less;
Dreaming of what could have been
Or staying awake to delay
Waking up to another day of
What isn't.

I've broken bones and
Been under the knife a few times.
I've collected burns, scrapes, cuts,
And bruises.

But nothing...
Nothing,
Hurts like silence.

She had the kind of voice that
Could calm a stormy sea
And in its absence, my heart
Is a maelstrom and I'm
Discovering how deep the
Ocean really is.