Have you ever felt,
The things that I have felt,
Repetition at its finest,
Cycles viciously spinning,
And fires that refuse to go out?

The annoyance of consistency,
Always needing more
                            more,
                           And more,
Until my brain just resists,
The resistance of greed,
But greed is just a substitute for emptiness,
Holes that have been formed inside me,
Craving the very sweetness of joy.

I'm caught on a hook,
A hook of fishermen named desires,
I ache for variety and change,
But the only change is my ability,
To sustain in complexity.

Is it ungrateful to be this way,
Kissing the realism goodbye,
As it drives me to madness,
Leaving me in a state of blue,
And uncertainty?

Independence is what I propose,
But adolescence limits the opportunities,
That have been given to me as a test,
A test of which I continue to fail,
Since I am afraid of responsibility.

Genius talents,
Gifted from god,
I hold him liable of my fate,
Yet since I need this vicious cycle to end,
I must try to take it into my own hands,

Even if I am,
Afraid of the change,
As much as I wish for it.

stress, stress, stress
exhausted and depressed
grey hairs popping up like weeds
not knowing where this path leads.
breaking out, breaking down
my mind is spinning round and round
hiding the bags underneath my eyes
and doing work that I despise.
crying, crying, crying
if I say that I'm okay, I'm lying
with hot tears streaming down my face
I feel myself falling behind in this race.
dying, dying, dying
my condition worsens with time
and with my immune system failing,
I head to bed with a sigh.

but I always manage to smile.