All I know these days is fear.
Anxiety nags at me.
A woeful sigh escapes from my lips as i wistfully recall the moment of tranquillity that I didn't appreciate for its actual worth.
I am not smitten by love, rather made petulant by it.
I am not drawn towards emotion, rather appaled by it.
I feel too much and think even more.
I need to cool off and sleep some more.
Finally understanding insomnia, gripped by tears and ripped by pity I am smoldered by my inability to cope.
Complacency would have been bliss but I chose curiosity.
When everyone said up, I chose to dig down; went left when the crowd pointed to right.
I dared and i dread.
I complied and then complained.
I consoled and then cried.
And while the world slept, I stayed up and questioned.
When they answered, I refused to understand.
When they chose arrogance, I followed chaos.
And when things turned worse, I could do nothing but curse.
And curse I will, for miserable or happy, I've come too far to be yappy and turn back.

Emptiness is the heaviest burden.
Longing is the toughest companion.

Indifference is a disaster.
Misunderstanding leaves the deepest scar.

Time doesn't heal.
Every opportunity compels you to feel.
Moving on are just words.
Without a proper end, you never truly depart.

Weakness becomes your mate.
Tears become your favourite nightmare.
Starts the search of a soul to lean on.
But compatibility isn't sth you just chance upon.

The chill of the night seeps through my veins...
My foggy breath lingers, giving me a physical pain..
With cold hands and a sinking heart,
I look up to god and question his part,
In my life...
And then I see you standing in the light.
I know now for sure that I need no one,
Not just a better half, I've found my own personal sun.

His touch lingered on her skin,
His breath fogged her vision and the conscience within.
His nuzzle tickled her control and made it quiver,
But though her heart was racing by now, her body did not shiver.
His fingers drew a map over her hand,
Her body gave way and was ready to surrender to this man.
Chills down the spine with his each touch,
She knew if she didn't move away she'd give in to the lust.
A smooth caress over her neck was enough,
She knew if she didn't move away she'd redefine her status of love..

She could never be the home you desired.
She could never be the brightest shine to your days.
She could never be the spark to your fire.
She never could be the anecdote to your imaginary tales.

All she ever could be was the canvas to your paint.
Patient enough to withhold every faulty stroke.
Brave enough to demand your thoughtful caress.
Careful enough to manage her anger and hope.
Powerful enough to capture your enchanted gaze.
For the strength of an artist is in creating magic no matter the mess.
And the power of the canvass is in camaflauging the colours to finesse.
Together, either a masterpiece comes blessed with eternity.
Or a disaster entails bleeding hearts with the utmost cruelty.

But what you couldn't understand was perfection is an illusion.
What you wouldn't realise was she was trying to change her ways.
Amidst your disappointed looks and hurtful accusations.
The could be girl, finally gave way.

Left.
Gone.
Buried.
One text; one smiley; one thought.

Pain.
Denial.
Proximity.
****** back and into the pothole of memories.

Sadness.
Acceptance.
Submission.

Welcome back, love.