I don't claim,
to have an abundance of accurate knowledge.
I know I've too much yet to learn.
However,
after a bit of experimentation,
after years of trial and error,
I do think I've come to find one truth.
No one is ever what you expect.
Fewer yet,
are what you need.
They key I've come to find,
that one piece that makes the puzzle fall together,
is to find someone who makes your soul quiet,
but your heart scream.

You interlocked your fingers with mine
And you said it was love.
You pressed your lips to my forehead
And you said it was love.
You gave me wilted flowers
And you said it was love.
Your words clutched at my throat
And you said it was love.
Your hand slipped and left a red mark
And you said it was love.
You left a bruise this time
And you said it was love.
You broke my wrist now
And you said it was love.
You shoved me into a mirror
And you said it was love.

I'm lying cold in the ground now
And you still said it was love.

                      t.s.

'but suddenly, you're 30 and blasting the songs that you wanted to die to when you were 15.'

She is in love with the stars
All the unknowns, the expanse of the sky,
Tells me about the everything and nothingness,
Most times I don't really understand
Too infatuated with her eyes, wide and gleaming,
Twin Orions,

I try to explain to her my love affair with words
The everything and nothingness they hold
Recently her skies have been flooding my pages,
All the blacks and blues that hang high above
Staining my notebooks cover to cover

as i walk through the empty hallways
i fix my gaze on the worn floor
each footstep is heavy
and drags across the hardwood
the movements have become involuntary
a product of repetitiveness
not passion
i cannot raise my eyes to the photographs hanging on the wall
these black and white remnants
of what seems to be a life of mine
lived so long ago
that I cannot recall the details

but I remember
I remember the girl
who grew up learning hatred
so ashamed of what had been given to her
and so afraid of a life untouched
I wanted so desperately to give her the world
but she destroyed my heart
and left it black and blue

and I remember
I remember the boy
with wild black hair and a voice like honey
who told me everything I thought I wanted to hear
who pulled me in so quickly
but I drew away with little pause
and so I left him
because I am just a girl and cannot give you the world

I remember the boy
who I watched settle for anything
and everything that crossed his path
wondering if I too
was just a commodity
if his plans of seeing me in a white dress
were fixated on the dress
or the soul wearing it
so he destroyed my heart
and left it black and blue

and I remember the girl
who loved everything too much
who looked at me with wonderstruck eyes
and convinced me that I could be so much more
but the skies are never clear for long
and as the dark clouds rolled in
I learned that she hated the rain
as I watched her run inside
to someone new
as I stood amidst the raging storm
while she destroyed my heart
and left it black and blue

and I remember
I still remember the boy
who looked me expecting nothing
except me
the smoke envelopes me
whistling my name
and I move in closer
closer to this warmth
this all consuming
all encompassing fire
but I am scared
I am so scared of the thought of burning out
or becoming engulfed
only to discover
that these flames are not what I want
so I run
I run far away
to safe
monotonous
empty "love"

and as I watched him fall in love under the autumn leaves
tending my scorched soul
dragging my feet along these empty hallways
realizing I destroyed my own heart
and I left it black and blue