Why is it...
That all my nightmares are about you?
Age means nothing when I have to be the adult.
Why is it..
That I can't ask for help? ..Because it might worry you?
Mom, can't you ever have enough?
Is money the only thing that gets through to you?
I've said it in a drunken slur, I say it when I'm sober;
"I pity you."

Was this what you meant when you said
that you wanted me to feel something?
Because now i’m sitting on the bathroom floor and my
hands are shaking while hot water pours from my eyes.

What did you mean when you said
that you had nobody?
   Because as you said that, I was standing next to you
in the same hole,
the only difference was
that I was covered in cuts and bruises
while you were suffering from
your very first cut.
A nick from your own razor.

While i watched you bawl on the ground,
i felt grateful in some kind of way.
Grateful for the fact that life never
gave me a chance to be so
naive and unguarded,
the blades become a sort of release to remind you that you can still feel.

Who did you want then?
When I stayed.. and you refused my help?
And why did you hate me when I left?

I stole the moon from the sky
And I hid it in my room
Hoped that you'd stop by ...
said you'd be here soon.
So I waited all morning
Paced all afternoon.
Cried all night,
And talked to the moon.
He told me that you loved me,
That you'd be here soon.
You showed up in the morning.
And put the stars around my finger.
No longer did I wonder
No longer did I cry.
I know now,
You're forever mine.

the house next door makes me
sad.
both man and wife rise early and
go to work.
they arrive home in early evening.
they have a young boy and a girl.
by 9 p.m. all the lights in the house
are out.
the next morning both man and
wife rise early again and go to
work.
they return in early evening.
By 9 p.m. all the lights are
out.

the house next door makes me
sad.
the people are nice people, I
like them.

but I feel them drowning.
and I can't save them.

they are surviving.
they are not
homeless.

but the price is
terrible.

sometimes during the day
I will look at the house
and the house will look at
me
and the house will
weep, yes, it does, I
feel it.

Catching you was one thing ...
Keeping you was a whole different story.
Time after time again, you left me..
You left me with numb and swollen lips..
Bruised thighs and hips...
You came back every time though, so I smiled
But you left trembling hands and trailed hickeys
You left traces of you on my body
Every time you left, you left proof that it wasn't a dream.
You left traces until they faded..
And one day you faded...
You left.