Where did you go?
                               Are you far away?
                                                           ­  Do you miss my electronic embrace?
                                                        ­    
I'm craving yours
                              And your static smile

I hope my screen lights up with your face
                                                                ­      Because right now,
Frankly,
                                   I'm all over the place

I miss you
More than a drowning sailor
Misses the oxygen that gives life
Misses the land that supports
You are my oxygen
You are my land
I miss You

They say my head doesn't work,
They say my hearing is selective,
They say I'm unmotivated,
They call me lazy,
and stupid,
and fat...
They say I need to eat less,
They say I need to get out more,
They say I need to sleep less,
They say I need to work more,
They say my 3.9 gpa isn't good enough,
They say 29 isn't high enough on the ACT,
They say I'm not trying hard enough,
They say I need to do more with my family,
They say I complain too much,
And hide in my room,
And cry too much...
They say I need better taste in friends,
They say my life hinges on doing better,
They say I need to be better,
At EVERY SINGLE THING.
They say that they wish they'd had no children,
...They say they love me...

They claim to be my parents.

Every year I hope it'll be different,
But still it never changes...
I ******* hate my birthday.

Tell me if I'm over-reacting,
But honestly, should a person cry-
Every single year on their birthday?
Isn't it supposed to be a special day?
With friends and gifts and fun?
Why is it mine always end in tears?
I try so hard to smile and laugh,
But it never fails that the mood falls flat,
And I shrink away, hide myself, disappear,
To try and disquise my choked back tears,
And pretend they're something more than
Sadness and hatred and all my fears.
I'm so done with today, in fact,
I think I'm just going to quit my birthday.

You pull on my lip like an aircraft emergency oxygen system.
Our engines catch fire
as our tongues flutter like the wing's peeling metal,
and as our eyes peek at one another
between each plane crash of lips.

We've lost cabin pressure
as we can no longer control our bodies.
We gasp for each other's breath
as our shimmering structures
roll around on the sky of my bed.

We kiss like we've only got seconds left,
when in reality,
these moments will never die
even if we do.

Sleep does not come easy
when I'm not sleeping with you.
I'm so used to doing it
not alone, but part of two.
There's too much room
in this here bed
there's a pillow here
missing your head.
And my heads missing your lips
I can't sleep tonight
not without that goodnight kiss.
The moon looks in my window
watching with empathy I'm sure
she knows this lonesome feeling
her lover too sleeps not with her.
Sad insomniacs
with empty sheets and empty arms
you're somewhere else asleep without me
the thought alone just does me harm.
If I could rearrange the stars like monkey bars
I'd cross this desert straight to you
if I had to dodge through speeding cars
let me tell you, there's not a thing I wouldn't do.
My eyes are growing tired
but my mind is racing with thoughts of you
it won't seem to let me sleep tonight
I think it's trying to run to you too.


*s.mndi