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Maria Oct 2021
I wish everyday for the breeze of a Fall morning
The light chill that kisses goosebumps along my legs and arms
I wish for a golden leaf to fall into my hair as I walk along the pavement
For the sun to shine through the shy, soft clouds
I wish for a warm cup of cocoa on a November sunset
And the soft fuzz of my dog's tail brushing against my leg as she whimpers onto my hot skin
I wish to curl up beside the fireplace with a good book
And dream into the nothingness of tomorrow
I wish to blast the smell of lavender around me with the click of a lighter
And fall into the wonderful scents of the future
I will gaze out the window as I watch the leaves fall
As the smell of warm heat surrounds me
A book in my lap, my dog by my side
I will fall into a frenzy of chapped lips and soft blankets
Some people wish for a lover or a laptop
But all I want is the breeze of an Fall morning
i love fall so much
  Oct 2021 Maria
Andrew
My eyes, grey blue, have changed
And my vision, deep grey, has
Changed, much like the trees
On the mountainside have changed, much like the way the
Night fades into morning.  And
My mind has changed, has become a well tended garden.
And my tears, well they fall
As soft as the rain tonight, this
First day of October.
Maria Sep 2019
I lay in bed alone at night and wonder why I'm here.
I do so much for everyone.
Why don't they show they care?
I met this girl who said she loved me,
something I haven't heard in so long.
She used me for my money;
what a ride she took me on.
There is so much hurt I feel, so much anger trapped inside.
Sometimes I wish my dad were here, but to me he's not alive.
I have no one to talk to.
These drugs seem to be the only way.
Turns out it's a lie just like the smile I put on each and every day.
I know outside I'm smiling; it's the face I fake for you,
But inside my soul is crying and there is nothing I can do.
I know my family loves me.
I'm there when their decisions are poor.
I'm sick of feeling like this walked on rug thrown upon the floor.
I lay in bed and wonder what the hell I'm doing here.
Can I wake up from this dream?
Can I please just disappear?
Maria Sep 2019
Will you end my pain?
Will you take my life?
Will you bleed me out?
Will you hang me out to dry?
Will you take my soul in the midnight rain?
While I'm falling apart
While I'm going insane

Can you break my bones?
Will you tear my skin?
Can you ******* lust?
Can you feel my sin?
See, I'm a waste of life, I should just **** myself
Yeah, I could slit my wrists, but it really wouldn't help
Wouldn't fix my issues, or change your mind
'Cause I broke your heart and you buried mine
Now, I'm six feet deep and I can't breathe
I got dirt in my eyes and blood on my sleeves
But I dig my way up through these roots and leaves
So I can get some air, so I can finally breathe
And now I'm on my knees, oh baby, begging please
Will you
Will you

Will you end my pain?
Will you take my life?
Will you bleed me out?
Will you hang me out to dry?
Will you take my soul in the midnight rain?
While I'm falling apart
While I'm going insane

Don't you miss me when I'm gone
'Cause you're the ******* reason that I'm not around
Don't you miss me when I'm, miss me when I'm gone
'Cause you're the ******* reason that I'm not around
******* reason that I'm not around
*****, you're the ******* reason that I'm not around
My biological dad is the reason i want to die...he is the reason that i want to go hurt myself...he's the reason that i cut, he's the reason i almost died...he's the reason that i lost everything.....he's the reason i am never treated fairly..he's the reason that it was sooo hard for me to come out to my madre...he's the reason for everything
  Sep 2019 Maria
zoie marie lynn
being gay won’t save me from touches i didn’t ask for,
because that’s what they are,
touches i didn’t ask for.
and you still punch me lightly in the arm,
like we’re fooling around, like you didn’t do anything wrong.
but i don’t like it like that,
i never have.
it feels so much worse when it’s forced,
or even when they're simple touches that the eye can barely see,
the alarms fire through my body at different speeds,
it’s absolutely riveting.
i'm learning the difference between want and need,
and i think when it all comes down to it,
you never even wanted me.
my eyes are up here,
not scattered in the crevices folded in my skin,
my eyes are up here,
but you don't care because you're wearing my favorite lopsided grin.
i believe in individuals having a right to their own consent,
and no offense, but you're not my romeo and i'm not your juliet.
liking the same *** won't save you from touches you didn't ask for,
because that's what they were,
touches you didn't ask for.
i think you can tell i haven't been doing so well
  Sep 2019 Maria
Stephen S
And it was wonderful.

It was magical.

It was power.

It was love.

But now I see

as I stand amidst my own ruins

that it was the stupidest thing

I could ever have done...
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