He walked away swaying without a care in the world

She was walking straight ahead with a dream in hand

He was a repeat offender
She was on the A honor roll... Again

But as he was fumbling for the keys
She was fixing her midterm paper

Newton once stated that for every action , there is an equal and opposite reaction

So for every bottled he emptied was another application she filled

Every law he broke
Was one she followed

So the beautiful synchronization is that as he was driving , so was she

That as she was making that turn on a green arrow , he was there to run the red light

But in that last symphony...
Tires screeched
Metal crunched
Glass shattered
Blood splattered
Acting as a lullaby to a life that just entered into eternal slumber
But...
He walked away swaying without a care in the world
Because in that moment demons were created and an angel was born

Her soul was cradled just like it was when it entered this world
and sometimes if youre listening closely, you can hear her wings fluttering in the wind as a sound of hope @ your time of need

To the shirtless man who fell asleep holding my girl

Ever since I fell for her I've dreamt of waking up to something beautiful

Something more glorious than a sunrise and more memorable than a sunset

Because its not something beautiful its someone beautiful

so seeing you get to live my fantasy was as if some imaginary trigger had been pulled

I felt the impact on my heart , the compression of my chest , the clenching of my fist , the gritting of my teeth , the churning of my stomach ... I was drowning

Cuz seeing your arm wrapped around her was as sickening as watching a venomous serpent entrench her body daring me to try and approach

But seeing her lay there with no remorse was as scarring as watching a mother sign her kid over to the state

But how can I blame you , you're just a man

Even I was pulled in by her gravity , held slave to her glittering gaze
I know the smell of her perfume and the streaks of her hair
I was paralyzed by her touch as if her hands were the controls to red light green light
I found my hands tracing every outline that made her up
so I can't blame you
Because she is as desirable as that forbidden fruit
And you ARE JUST A MORTAL MAN

But I thank you for living my fantasy
Because of seeing that
I am vindicated in my reality
Because while she was laying with you , I realized im as replaceable as this years iPhone ....
That when waking up to something beautiful you better let them know or they'll be waking up to someone else

You see I have a fear of heights
So when dating you every mile we climbed , the tighter I clench to you

You took me to such great heights that I was on a first name basis with the stars and in competition with the sun because of the way you made me radiate
sorry guys , global warming on me

You see our love was like a storm
It was loud it was booming
It was electric. Some would call it shocking while others are afraid of it. But its something worth chasing

We would dance in the rain just for fun and I would catch the drops that fell from your cheeks cuz I imagined they were pure tears of joy

I'd blow you a kiss in a room full of people just so everyone could see its from me to you and be jealous

We would lay in the cool grass while the breeze rippled through your lips as you whispered goodnight

We would stroll underneath the clouds until one day you passed to the place above them

you see it was a 1 empty bottle mistake , that made 2 cars collide , I woke up 3 days later looking 4 you on the day of our 5 year anniversary only to find out you were 6 feet under

Only to make matters worse was my last gift to you remained in my pocket that night ... Now all it is , is a placeless ring of a never ending circle of pain and regret

You see im afraid of falling because after you left I fell from great heights

But then it hit me and it took me a while to figure it out

Just because you left doesn't mean your gone

You see they buried your body but not your spirit or your memory

I can still feel your presence because

When it pours I dance in the rain hoping to be drench in joy

When I see a shooting star I know its you blowing me a kiss for the world to see and be envious of

And when im standing underneath the starry night , I feel the breeze kissing my skin, I know its you whispering goodnight

When the clouds finally part and the sun comes out I start to radiate

You see love is like lighting , it never strikes twice , so you can never stop chasing the storm

You see I thought I was afraid of heights
I thought I was afraid of falling
But it turns out I was just afraid of realizing ill never being that high again

When i was a young , a man asked what i wanted in my house



i said i wanted a TV so big when i watch a movie its like watching a tennis match

I wanted a couch so big it takes me a week to get to the other end.

i said i wanted a bed so enourmous i have to swim out of it in the morning

i wanted a shower that would adapt to my mood and never run out of hot water

i said i wanted surround sound so what i listen to , the whole neighborhood listens to

i wanted wifi that would follow me

and finally i said i wanted a fridge that was always full



after years of hard work , i got all that , but i feel like the biggest fool ever

because you see what i know now is what i shouldve known then



I didnt want a big screen TV i wanted my life to be like a movie

i didnt want an enourmous couch I just always wanted room for company

and this bed im no longer swimming out of it , im drowning in it becuase there is no reason to leave it

and i wish this showe would was away my sins but it just temperarily relieves my pain

i said i wanted surround sound but what i really wanted to hear was the pitter patter of tiny feet , yelling dad lets play hide n seek

and i wanted wifi to follow me but what i really wanted was just to feel connected

and finally this fridge that is always full, i just wanted a woman whose love would never let me feel empty.



because what i know now is what i wish i knew then

i was chasing a dream and losing reality

and now its just me

just me

Hello my name is well known and will never be forgotten



dont focus on that right now because it is my power over you and your disbelief of it that is important



for example i was strolling through a park and noticed a dove with its hatchlings



so i reached up and grabbed it

and i stroked it , caressing ever feather

then i finally reached for a talon and with a little pressure... snap .. its broken



not a drastic wound , it just make  the bird walk a little gimpy



then i start plucking feathers from its head



next i shatter its left wing and strip it of any feathers. While it chirps in agony , its hatchling watch in fear



then i set it back in its next and come back tomorrow



i find the gruesome bird again and pick it up



This time i stroke down to its legs

and with a little pressure... snap... snap..

no more walking



i being to slowly puck every feather

one by one

but leaving the right wing completly untouched



i clip its singing chords and break its beak shut



i lay it down in the nest surrouned by its hatchling

with only the perfectg wing to remind them of what once was



i wrap my hand around the birds neck squeezing tighter and tighter ... but then i let go and walk away

i mark another tally on my wrist and let time do the rest.



hello my name is cancer

Pain and love

I wish I could separate the two but I don’t want to

Because sometimes this pain is the only thing connecting me to you

The distance doesn’t matter because the pain is always the same

It’s like a drill being placed on my chest and every time it sees you it starts turning burying deeper and deeper inside me.

And this pain is because of love, because I already lost you but I never lost these feelings for you

I love the fact that you’re happy but it hurts cuz it’ll never be with me

I’m jealous of the fact that it’s him even though he’s a mirror of me

I hate the fact that it’s him that reaches your mind first even when you never left mine

I’m angry that you never told me about him, yet I’m fearful of everything else you could be hiding

I’m terrified at the thought of losing you

I’m hoping it ends but I’m praying it doesn’t

It’s like my mind is going to war with itself emotions are charging logic and logic is charging emotions but they’re both being flanked by regret and they all surrender to you...

My words become blurred and my vision becomes slurred and my actions become quiet and my thoughts are screaming

Why is it him?

The eyes that I know are fixed on someone else

The smile that I love is caused by someone else

The laugh that I can sense is because of someone else

The touch that is so enticing is for someone else

The tears that this drill is activated by is being controlled by someone else

But this love for you … this love… no one else comes close … to how I love you

But I am the reason that kept me from loving you

I am the only one that understands

I am the only one that wont stop trying

I am the only one with a hole in his heart

Because I refuse to let go of a love for someone that will never be more than my imagination

Because my actions were left only in my imagination

This love is real … but so is this pain…

I don’t know what else to say

…. But I miss you

My Bonnie lies over the ocean

My Bonnie lies over the sea

She set sail only a couple of days ago

but sadly it was a one way voyage, and I already miss her terribly

But I will always remember her face

Every wrinkle as if they formed sentences that made up the story of her life.

How they were layered under her eyes, and very few under her lips

because she always had a reason to smile and rarely frowned.

Ill remember her eyes, how they saw the world through a different perspective and found an understanding that can only come in time.

Ill remember how her hands were the biggest contradiction because they were so firm when there was a lesson to be learned, yet the most comforting when anyone needed help.

Ill remember her voice, How it kept you on the right path but, if you were lost it was the one that brought you back home.

And I will cherish every lesson she taught me

because

My face already has too many wrinkles under my lips

because my eyes don’t yet understand what they see

because my hands are still learning what they're suppose to do

because my voice hasn't made a difference yet..

and yes this is the last goodbye but know that I am counting the days until the Final Hello

and yes these tears are of full of sorrow

but know that my heart beats of rejoice

because today

my family is more united then ever

because today

we learned the true meaning of happiness

because today

my grandma set foot on the shores of paradise where she was greeted by a man the same way she greeted everyone else “welcome my child, come in, whats mine is yours”

and yes my Bonnie lies over the ocean

and yes my Bonnie lies over the sea

but that’s where she'll stay.. waiting for me,... waiting for you...to come home once more.

I love you Grandma, and I'm on my way