Hush, stay quiet for the air present now is far too sweet to speak into. At least, that's what you tell yourself when you're choking on poetic devices and stifling screaming kisses. You don't care too much, do you? At least that's what you care to believe even though the anxiety is causing you to throw up every last glance you shared with him in passing. And you palms are sweating out every last drop of why you ever thought this was love. "Tommorrow's a new day." you say even when you can't bear to go to sleep for fear of waking up in this same hell.  Realizing you've just missed out on another way out.  Have you lost you mind yet or is that another thing you won't believe? What is there to tell yourself now?

I'm numb
Been feeling this way for a while
Treated all my friends like garbage
And now I have none
I realize now I was treating everyone
The way I was allowing myself to be treated by someone else
I realize now that my mistake was ever doubting myself
And turning my back on the honest friends I did have
My mistake was believing in someone who kept hurting me
Over and over again
My mistake was the fact that I repeated myself
But expected different results
How stupid am I to have wasted all this time
When the answers to my questions were always in my heart and mind
I'll never doubt myself again
I'll never turn my back on those who try to protect me
I only hope I'll be forgiven
And I pray for the guidance I'll need
To never make this mistake again

Upon a lofty perch
Nestled warily
He waits

A gargoyle
Still as stone
Unflinching

Trained eyes
Gazing far below
Ever watchful

The forest swaying
Willows leaning
Over a dry river bed

A murmur
Among the trees
Awakens senses

The prey approaches
Flanked by willows
Unaware

Still he waits
Transfixed
Hidden

Swiftly swooping
Three sharp shrieks
Sing out

A lofty perch
Left with empty
Broken shells

Willows weeping
By a river
Flowing

Do you think I like being covered in tired skin?

I spent so many nights after you were gone,
Talking to these ****** walls,
Telling them stories about you.
Telling them how your perfection can move them.
How your feelings can create waves in the oceans,
How your smile could place the stars in my sky..
" he said he loves me " i spoke to them. I saw them move in waves around me. I saw them shift into what could be eternity.
Trying to drown me into them.
Trying to take me away from all this.
" leave me be " i said with my eyes dropping blood on the sheets.
My feelings leaking out of them as if they were rusted, leaking out of them as if they were of no use.
What would i want with my eyes if they can't see you? And what would i want with my body if it dsnt touch yours.
I took my hand and raised it high. Placed it on the wall, i was ready to die.
I felt the force of it pull me in, i felt it deep from within.
I shut my eyes, i dried my tears, i prayed to god and spoke what i feared. Take me away, was my only wish. But then i recalled that i was away..
When i was with him, i was in another place.
I was in my own heaven with my own angel.
I was the worst of the best but he didn't mind it.
I was his happiness and his smiles.
I was never the sadness in his eyes.
I opened my eyes, and looked around.
Took those pills and threw them out.
I don't want happiness if its not you, i don't want a life where i'm not loving you.
I crawled to bed and imagined him there,
Right there in my arms as i gave his face a kiss.
As my hands went through his hair, as my arm went down to his chest. Bare.
His chest that rose.
Bare.
Skin to skin i could feel him.. This was real to me.
I then smiled, and fell asleep.
Cause i don't mind seeing him here, i dont mind seeing him in my dreams..