I can't decide
If I am dying, praying to forget,
Or  
If I'm thankful that I don't know how to.

A girl was born with ebony hair,
With blazing eyes,
And a piercing stare.
She sprinted through childhood.
Skipping many moments.
And she forgot what it meant to be young,
Lacking burdens.
Her heart pounded with a fire that could
Outlast all her failures,
But didn't have time time for cruel
Passing faces.
She grew accustomed to loss.
She took it in stride,
And her laughter remained
Until something in her died.
Her patience grew thin with the plain, naive youth.
She did not understand
Why none spoke the truth.
The fire in her heart grew deadly, impatient.
And her restless soul was gasping
Looking for understanding, non-existent.
But she squared her shoulders;
Embracing the story she'd told,
And saw that her lion's heart remained,
Along with her fire guarded soul.

My efforts are feeble.
My heart flickers like a dying lightbulb
As the power of my hope is burns out.
Words spoken at 1:48 am are seared into the depths of my mind.
And I realize that I cannot.
My mouth must remain sealed
And my dangerous, sparking, failing heart,
Blocked off.
Because my efforts are feeble.
And I am lost and full of hate.

A generally unattractive face,
Wild, untamed locks of ebony,
Eyes of piercing, explosive fire,
Bruised and ****** shaking hands.
A mind with an unquenchable thirst for understanding,
A hardened heart filled with self hatred and doubt,
The list goes on and on.
And yet am I always surprised when it's not me.

When the rain is falling down and
I can't feel my toes.
The hope which I felt
Is receding from my veins and
I'm falling.
The numbness is back and
Making its way through my fingertips,
Up my sparking, wired arms as I stare dully
At this wall in front of me
In the rain.
Little streams of water trickle from my newly tangled hair,
Obscuring my vision.
I can no longer dance in the rain because
My white dress, once light like leaves in the wind,
Is grey, and clinging to my shivering form like a crawling second skin.
I turn my heavy head, and when I see that no one is there,
I allow myself to sink down
To close my eyes and feel the cold.

You wake up and realize
That all you want in this world
Is for oceans to part so that
You can be with the one who you can't live without.