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God strengthen me to bear myself;
That heaviest weight of all to bear,
Inalienable weight of care.

All others are outside myself;
I lock my door and bar them out,
The turmoil, tedium, gad-about.

I lock my door upon myself,
And bar them out; but who shall wall
Self from myself, most loathed of all?

If I could once lay down myself,
And start self-purged upon the race
That all must run! Death runs apace.

If I could set aside myself,
And start with lightened heart upon
The road by all men overgone!

God harden me against myself,
This coward with pathetic voice
Who craves for ease and rest and joys:

Myself, arch-traitor to myself;
My hollowest friend, my deadliest foe,
My clog whatever road I go.

Yet One there is can curb myself,
Can roll the strangling load from me.
Break off the yoke and set me free.
I called and called,
Yet he still fought,
Threw me to the side and stepped on top,
Punched my nose, and made me bleed,
Come back, it's me was all i said.

I pointed the gun at him,
But I couldn't pull the trigger,
So I pointed it at my forehead and fell,
He knelled down and held it, steady.

There was nothing in his eyes,
Nothing but blankness,
I held his head in my hands,
Come Back, it's just me, I said.

It's just me, I repeated,
His hand on the trigger
**** me now, I said,
Then he looked away.

Look at me, I called,
And finally a soft Tris escaped his mouth,
I relaxed,
He was back,
He pulled away the gun from my head slowly,
Then he turned around and faced the enemy.
Tobias (Four) and Tris (Beatrice Prior)
 Nov 2014 Lambert Mark Mj
anu
when  someone become close to my heart
suddenly they depart

At the time,I just want to cry
And move to sky

I just want to shout
As i want them to love a lot

I just want to stare
And i want someone to share

I just want to be unmoved
As i still wait for them who moved

At the end,I just  don't want to do all these things
As I had the 'SWEET MEMORIES' to bring..
Instead of dousing you with water
My kisses made your ocean drier
And my touches only set you on fire

You said my words felt like sharp ice
Sounded like an orchestra of lies
But I swear they weren't meant
To sound like goodbyes

On the highway of dreams
I drove but didn't mean to crash
Memories of glitter turning to ash
The grasped infinity disappearing in a flash

I am a poison, your favorite brand
Another inch lost on your life's strand
Forgive me my love
But I can never let go of your hand

My touches excite you, I know
Your heart beats harder behind brittle bars
But they exacerbate your old scars
And make your lips crave cigars

I vowed to pamper you like a queen
Let you bask in a life so pristine
I apologize for bearing thorns
You shouldn't be searching for morphine

My lips are void of mendacity
You speak words immersed in asperity
I only wish to bring your heart placidity
But dear, I'm failing immensely

I'm on my knees but I don't pray
Your aligned stars, now in disarray
Rainbows in your eyes are turning gray
Why do you still ask me to stay?
What comes after?

I caught brilliant light in my hand
Are seconds it shone more precious
than what comes after?

           'Will I be rich?
               Will I be poor?
                 You can't fall further
                   Than flat on the floor'

I held her hand,
I held her.
I gave everything I had
I held her.
I loved like nothing before.
I held her.
I would have given the world but
I held her
back.

               'In Yorkshire they ask
              Where there's muck there's brass
           But what's brass coated in such
        A volume of muck.'

What comes after?

I'm lucky I found some sunshine.
Some brilliant light.

              Heaven knows
                Where it goes.
                  
The ghost of a flame
Exists
For a second

I hope it explodes
Into something
Bigger.
I
Little bear

My Red Indian girl
approaches with
Sun waves behind her.
Rays broken on
wheat sheaf, brown
pollen flies, dither,
vulture on cut poppy heads.

Hands gently brush
bull rush, torches
of an ancient fire
That burns, that burns
the curling hearts of ferns.

‘I want to meet you there
My love,
Who stares
at the sky
like a
Sun flower.'


II

Scorched earth

The holy fire
that licks from your
Irish mouth. The
Catholic words,
that spill from your
holy spirit.
Hang in the air
like ragged linen
on a ***** child.

‘My empty boy,
Let me slip my hands
Under your gas mask
And kiss the chlorine from your mouth,’


III

We are the Sun Warriors

when we're together.

strung out,
drugged up,
lovers of light,
lovers of the summer
Drought and bubble mud.

‘I want, I want
our stitched up hearts.
And when we’re gone, please let us lie
In a heathen space
and find our heaven in the sky.’


IV

The Sun

That ****** spot,
Blinks.
Gods eye though
screamed at
gives no reply.    

That ****** spot
blinks
in a empty sky
I opened my heart to god
and heard you reply.
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