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 Oct 2014 Marissa Kohlman
amrutha
Last night his eyes asked me
How it feels in here, inside me
I bit my lip, how do I answer,
The same way he has asked?
Sending silent waves through
this darkness?

Light scares me away
So I rest in his custody all day
While his palms lightly cover
my eyes as he closes his
Maybe that is why
Even orange days seem like blue nights

And when the true night falls,
Even the early dusk is a cold black midnight.
I've never felt cold when he holds me.
His shoulder wet with my tears,
My heart painted with his warmth.
 Oct 2014 Marissa Kohlman
r
breeeathe

r ~ 10/18/14
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Handle me gently.
Mull it over in your mind
Until you find the words that match your intentions.
Say them quietly
So only I can hear.
Don't speak harshly.
Don't leave me hanging.
Don't blend into the background.
A word spoken is a word meant
So say what you mean
Because I meant what I said
And I'll say it again.
I love you times one million.
All my bad decisions were worth it
If my one right decision was you.
Like a glass of cloudy beer
It will soon become crystal clear
Unless they have made a mistake
And the situation remains opaque.
But things will become apparent
Plans remain transparent.
But then life is as mad as a box of frogs
When it is raining cats and dogs.
 Oct 2014 Marissa Kohlman
sean
the seasons have been changing &
i’m not sure why i thought we wouldn’t
succumb to the ways of mother nature
it’s a lot of should have, could have,
would have and not enough
stay with me tonight & we can figure the
rest out in the morning
but this isn’t about the staying or the going
you’re breathing slowly &
i’m drinking more than i should
we’re drifting through a phase of
let me try this without you but
what about the handful of nights i woke up in a
panic because i dreamt of your
name coming out of a mouth
that wasn’t mine
i heard love is supposed to be
a game of tug of war
when really it’s me & our ghost
pulling on an empty rope
because the only type of fight you know
is running until your hands feel innocent again
i crossed the border last night
& i swear that the street lights were talking to me
in a way that would lead me
straight to your house
but i kept telling them you weren't there anymore
that you had a bad habit of
moving wherever the sun looked best
the ground i walk on isn't as strong these days
& i've got to stop dancing to our song in the kitchen alone
i'm sorry that i'm anchored to
the moments you were in love with me
it's just that i think if you would've picked up
the phone that night then i wouldn't have to
keep begging you to come home
everything starts over at the time it began
& i'll wait until december comes again
i wrote my life in pen
mistakes can't be changed
and regrets that surround me
weren't always regrets
because i did love you once
and died at your touch
but now i die everyday
thinking of what you used to say
The numbness is taking over again
I don't like the way it "feels"
But in between the desolate expanse
There is only solitary bouts of intense torment
Burning like a supernova
Only to be abruptly replaced by the numbness once more
I need a monster to protect me, So the ones inside don't take over.
I never asked for perfect,
I only wanted
equally flawed.
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