True as the oceanside bonfires ..
Embers that parlay their very existence ,
at mercy of Poseidon's petulant expanse ..
Gale-borne , maritime id ...
Devout seafarers in perpetual , celestial
navigation ..

The ground shakes beneath my feet--
Rattling me to the core.
I reach out to grasp your hand,
But you aren't standing there any more
My eyes slip slowly open--
They've been closed for a long time.
I look around at the place we loved,
The place you left behind.

Everything has fallen down.
Everything is broken now.
And in my heart I know,
It is time for me to go.

I pack up all our memories
But am perplexed to find
That all they do is weigh me down--
Shall I leave them behind?
I try to walk, to start my journey
To somewhere far away--
But my feet refuse to move;
I'm clinging to my yesterdays.

The emptiness surrounds me.
The pain of it astounds me.
And I'm not crying because you're gone,
I'm crying because I can't move on.

I don't need to prove to him
Who and what I truly am
I don't need to prove to you
All that I know I can do

And yet,
I still want to

The one who PRAYS only for PRAISE
will never RAISE to see the RAYS
just a ROLE to help you ROLL
falling in the WHOLE ****** HOLE

you will WAIT to feel the WEIGHT
a slow GAIT toward the GATE
you say No to what you say you KNOW
then it's "OH no you still OWE"

I'm a murderer
I've stabbed my own heart.
I'm a thief
I've stolen my own happiness.
I'm a liar
I've told myself how much better things would be.
I'm a slothful woman
I fell asleep.
I'm greedy
I've eaten my own pain.
I'm hungry
Just not for sin again.

Slowly I step away from the gate,
Gait unsteady, I stop and I wait
Weight of the moment sees me in a daze
Days ahead blur into a chilling haze.

She whispers her last from upon the kerb
Curb my fear, this I know I need to hear
Here and now is my only chance at peace
Piece together what happened to make this cease.

She said that I made her my fragile dear,
Deer caught in headlights, my ******,
Heroine to be rescued from all mist,
Missed the chance to know this girl I kissed.

She was done being made to feel weak,
Week after week she assembled her fort,
Fought all urge to let this issue slide by.
Bye, she murmured, I am now ready to fly.

So this is the sad end to my tale,
Tail tucked in between my legs I
Eye her walk away into the night
Knight I am no more, fade to white.

When you appear to disappear,
a near miss in the atmosphere.
The patterns clear,
and what’s happening here,
Is the same things still,
after all these years.

Talking **** again.

Now you're back again,
acting as if nothings happened,
and,
your trying to laugh it off again,
as if were best friends,
but I can’t pretend this won’t be a repeat like last time.

Telling lies again.

When actually,
this is just your favourite pastime;
you’ve been missing in action for weeks.
No message to check i’m ok.
No call on my birthday.
Now you’ve got the cheek to call on me,
and fall on me,
as you can’t stand on your own two feet.

Drunk again.

So don’t act surprised,
like you don’t know.
When you phone you meet the answering tone.
It’s too late too atone now that i’m all grown,
Maybe you’ll find out now what it’s like to be alone.

**Never again.

Anger builds, like a fire
Neglected flames only grow higher
In the heart, the intention burns
Making smoke with dark concerns
Undulating through and through
Scorching only, the inside of you