Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Mar 2016 Marie Love
Sydney Marie
I know this is how you felt,
I know everyone feels things differently.
But I know now, this is how you felt.

And my God,
Am I ever sorry.
  Mar 2016 Marie Love
Star Gazer
There will be a time
That your name
Will escape someones'
Lips for the last time.

All that is left
Are unspoken memories
Or decaying possessions
Of a fading light.
[Tales of my late best friend. Tales of the one person who truly understood me]
  Mar 2016 Marie Love
Putri Emilia
My heart is so exhausted running away from killers.
Then, I stumbled upon your heart that makes the most comfortable bed covered with silk.

But your heart was inside an abandoned house,
Made from rotten woods,
Moss climbing up the walls,
Hugged by pitch black darkness,
Eaten away by mites.

"What a beautiful home must it have been"

It would collapse any moment.

I am scared the roof would crush me to dust while I was asleep.

"Let me just rest and catch a breath"

But the moment the walls of my heart touch the silk of yours,
I unconsciously fall and dreaming away.

"What a beautiful home it is"
  Mar 2016 Marie Love
Astor
your body is beautiful
so so pretty
coveted by the boys
the ***** ones
sharks
who devour the smell of blood in the water
the ones who thrive off the smell of their prey

baby we should cuddle
so so warm
and extra pretty
but I feel ***** ***** *****
because you have extra love baby
just for me me me
begging me for a little bit moremore more

lovely lovely
can I have a taste of the
sweet nectar
a little little bit baby
youre so pretty
a body so fine fine fine

its all a ******* twisted lie
to get your rocks off before you take a dive and ask a different girl
to prom
  Mar 2016 Marie Love
N Paul
They let me in the room with her and I walked without meaning to walk. It was bright with big windows covering the opposite wall looking out onto grass and a bed at a right angle to the light so that lying there she rested her chin on her left shoulder to gaze out and had to roll her head rightwards to see who came in. Walking as I was she got bigger and I started to feel her fear and only then did I realise that I was absolutely terrified and had been for a long time though I can’t say when it started. The room smelled sterile and smelled like a room you shouldn’t leave. It made you want to run but made you feel like you absolutely couldn’t; she wanted to run but politeness kept her sane.

She looked at me and it felt like when we met at a station or arrived by taxi and hadn’t seen each other in a while. Except this time we had seen each other but wouldn’t see each other for a while yet. Her eyes were filled with tears and she had a smile like she was happy and proud and surprised in her happiness but glad, and that it was all too much to bear. ‘Hi.’ her voice was stronger than I thought and I knew that I loved how she could be so full of emotion but still function and not collapse.

I couldn’t say anything but patted her with my hand. We both cried quietly. I started to feel I should be doing more and I wanted to tell her but now it all seemed lame and wrong and stupid. So I told her I loved her and I felt I was saying it to be strong and make her feel safe but of course I didn’t feel safe and I heard it as a squeak and more air than sound. I wanted her to say it and she did and her face was still proud but now also concerned but concerned for me and how I was and in a moment all this love turned to hate and then all I felt was shame that I would make her worry for anyone but herself and then blame her for it. It couldn’t end like this so I started to tell her and at first I fumbled and had to keep starting over but then I forgot where we were and even that she was there and I just felt what I wanted to feel and before I knew it I had said it.

‘Here’s what’s going to happen. We’ll cremate you. You’ll be ash. And… well ash is a great fertiliser. After a volcano the land regrows and the crops are full, for years they’re full. So I’ll take you, and--- remember when we went to the garden centre? You said we should get lilies and I said we would and I haven’t. Well I’ll buy some and I’ll take you… I’ll take you…and I’ll plant them and mix you in with the soil. I’ll mix you up with the soil and I’ll plant them and they’ll grow and… you’ll be in them. And I’ll look out and see them growing and know that you’re in them. And when they’re big I’ll pick them and smell them and put them in vases all around the house and I’ll always be with you. Because I love you so much. And you have to know that. I love you so much and I might meet someone but it won’t mean anything because they aren’t you, do you hear me? I will always think about you because you are my heart and you always will be. Do you understand? You have to know that because I’d want to know that, desperately; that not for a second will you be less important to me than you are right now.’

Only then I saw that whilst she was touched and she nodded and her face filled with yet more pride it was all show this time and maybe always had been and really she was just scared. I knew then that she was really only grateful that I cared so much to need her and that she didn’t really care if she was a plant and that was fine with me.

By the time the footsteps came we had fallen onto each other and were kissing clumsily because we were too busy crying but we were smiling with this painful relief that we weren't acting strong anymore when we weren't. And I had begun to feel excitement for some reason that this would all be over soon and I could go back although things would never really go back of course. But now this felt right and I was glad that I had told her.

The nurse came in the needle went in and she was gone. I saw I was walking and in the corridor and the moment I saw I fell in a stumble against the wall and slid and couldn’t feel a thing for all the shaking. I shook on the floor and wept and shuddered in sobs and no why did I leave I didn’t want to leave yet I wanted to be there with her but I can’t now she’s gone.

I looked around dumbly as people saw but couldn’t give what they thought they should because they were embarrassed or busy feeling. And I looked around for the family I knew wasn’t there because my family had been in that bed and now had faded along with my heart. I was sharp breathing and strange noises and that was everything for a while until someone helped me up and walked me around until I took my body back and walked to my car and went home and stared blankly at a door and remembered I’d forgotten something and went back to the car again to get lilies.
Marie Love Mar 2016
Love is such a mystery. This feeling is so uneasy. .
Marie Love Mar 2016
They always said your first will be the hardest, and boy weren't they lying. The feeling of opening up to someone, letting them see you as a whole. Seeing you with no clothes on, cuddling, becoming one. Giving that person your all, more than just making love, but deeper than love. As the feelings spill out with each kiss, and each touch, you feel the pain, as his fingertips touch and hold your hips. Because he isn't the one. You feel the pain, as those kisses get to your heart, and your eyes start to water. There's no such thing as your mind knowing what's best, because your heart knows more than the rest. But this man is your first, so hard to walk away. But why? Lord why? Why is this feeling so invading? He looks at you, and smile, knowing this smile is so untrue, nothing but a piece of your beauty, that's all that it took, to make him say I love you, until he got what he looked. He changed his ways, it became more distance, you tried to fix it. Not realizing that you are only hurting yourself, you denied it. Wanted to make it work, so those feelings inside, you fought them, why? Was it really that worth it? Was it really because you loved him? Or was it because you was too scared to walk away, because you felt like as if it would hurt him? Did he care? Only when he smashed though..
Was he there? Only when he smashed though..
Did he make you cry? Yeah.
Did he care? No.
So why were you there? I don't know..
Were you happy? Could I have been?
No..
Was this just ***?
Was this just his way of getting what he wanted so no other can have it?
Selfish.
They say your first is hard to walk away from,
But when walking away makes you stronger
You start regretting the moment, you let that boy in.

Enough said..
Next page