Four years have past
Yet your memory seems to last
I shed my tears across the page
My heart threatens to break it's cage
This year you'll be twenty-one
Drinking alone isn't going to be fun
The track ran smooth, but your hear was frail
You worked yourself over the rail
One lap, two lap, three lap, four
I count the miles wanting more
You loved the track, you loved the sun
I imagine you with me when I run
Your auburn hair, your glowing eyes
Your smiles brightening darkened skies
I smile for you, you smile for me
It fills my heart with shortened glee
Goodbye dear Sara, we'll miss you so
I love you dear, remember you're no longer a child of woe

An artist by nature.
A beauty by heart.
A prisoner by mind…I’m falling apart.

What more can I do?
What more can I say?
I’m losing myself in a world gone astray.

No, wait.
That’s not right, the world’s not to blame.
It’s me who’s the problem.  
My soul’s ran away.

“Where are you?”
“Come back!”
“Don’t leave me like this!”
I say,
with tears in my eyes and a tightly clenched fist.

Spiraling spiraling spiraling down
….am I so far gone I can never be found?...

I want to escape, to break free from the chains
That have been holding me hostage since the day my dad walked away.
But with each passing year they get heavier and heavier.
I just want to be free of this hell-binding barrier!!!

Overwhelmed.
Insecure.
Worthless.
Tired.

I see the imperfections.
The weakness that has grown.  
I’m broken.  I’m breaking.  
…lost…
Waiting to be found.

What happened to the warrior I was once said to be?
There’s a cut on my foot, put there intentionally.

The scar,
The pain.
It was self inflicted.
Why am I constantly feeling so **** restricted?

That night I couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t move for half an hour.
But I dragged myself up and reached into the shower.

The razor sliced hard.
The darkness had robbed me of all of my power.

I was defenseless against myself.
Weeping and cold.
Shaking with guilt of an act gone untold.

I lied,
Am still lying, about its very existence.  
Saying a pan fell and broke.
One of them old cooking dishes.

But I know why it’s there.
What happened that night.
I broke down.
I am scared.
Wound up in fright.

Who am I?
Who have I become?
Let me out!
Leave me be!
Darkness, you’ve won!
Now please,
RELEASE ME!

I’m lost, can’t you see?
I just want to be found.
The girl I once was?
She’s no longer around.

But I’m here.  
Way deep down.
Under all the dark mess.
Don’t stop looking for the girl.
The damsel in distress.

I want someone to look me in the eyes
like nothing else matters

I want to wake up to him
or a text from him or something more
than the empty feeling in my chest

I want someone to share random thoughts with

I want him to pull me into
his jacket and zip us up inside

I want to talk to someone
about theories, ethics, words,
the universe and more

I want someone to call me at one in the morning
and tell me to look at Polaris

I want him to pick me up unexpectedly
and make me laugh hysterically until I snort

I want someone to trade literature with,
sleep in with, cuddle with

I want someone to miss me when we're apart