listen to me, you are going to be loved.
more importantly, you are going to love.

you’re scared because you’re older now
and you’re still all alone,
but i promise you,
you will be loved harder than most.
because you waited
and because you are made entirely of longing.

you’re not going to get the practice,
the dry runs that everyone else gets,
you’re going to get thrown into it
like a wave crashing on you
and you won’t know up from down.

you are going to be so lucky.
you are going to fumble through all of it at first,
you’re going to throw yourself out of every window imaginable
before you find your feet and your head.

you are controlled by your heart and that is okay.
you are lonely and you’ve been waiting so, so, so long.
but it’s coming
and you aren’t going to be ready for it;
people like us are never going to be ready for it
but that is why we will be okay,
because our mistakes will feel like the end of the world
and there is nothing better than feeling the ground crumble beneath you
and there is nothing better than finding out there is a surface underneath it.

you are going to love hard and probably too much
and you will be loved back so fiercely
you will want to crawl out of your own skin and float away,
but you won’t
you will stay
and you will learn to accept it.
you are going to be happy
and you are going to be scared shitless.
you are going to change.
that’s what i think love is,
when you can’t remember who you were before
and who you are after it
but it’s all okay (k.w)

january:
when he left, he took the whole world with him.
it was clanking behind his car like
a bunch of empty cans

February:
the 8 wonders of the world were
in between the miracle of our bodies breathing together

March:
after him, everything was empty sky.

April:
i tried making my head on your chest feel like home again
all i found was how pain makes craters, and my heart was the moon

May:
i said his name out loud. over and over again, until it brought me to my knees.

June:
you were the one my mother warned me about
the one who will do anything to pull the earth out from underneath me
you always made me feel as if i were falling

July:
we are not supposed to disappear inside of loss or love. someone should have told me that sooner.
this was the month i truly learned what it means to love.

August:
at some point, the paint chips away
and everything is black and white.
you are faced to keep going or to let dying without him **** you
i chose to keep going.

you can’t make a home out of the same building you burned down thinking the welcome mat will still be waiting when you decide to come back
my past love, you can’t make homes out of people
someone should’ve taught you that a long time ago (k.w)

Skip the coffee,
And breakfast in bed.
I’d rather you stay by my side,
And feed me with kisses instead.
Wrap me in your arms,
While under the sheet,
Smother me with love,
And I’ll be complete.

Blue eyes, blonde hair, red lips, intense stare,
self doubt, dark soul, your eyes bore a hole,
hard kiss, quick ****, over fast, no luck,

leaving now, going home, so cold, so alone,
shiver shake earthquake, so unreal, so fake,
tears trickle down my face, so slow, quicken pace,
still there on the brink, another drug, another drink,
block you out, so numb, want to hide, want to run,

Far away, leave it all, the more i think, the more i fall,
Shut my mind, shut you out, feeling sick, full of doubt,
Too hard, you’re always there, look at you, try not to stare,
Fake smile, cold hello, nervous laugh, hard swallow,
little hope drains away, another moment, another day,

Time goes on, hope it heals, because I hate how it feels,
But for now, I crave your touch, I want you now, miss you so much.