the sky leans into me,
wild-flower and moss hide
in small crevices.

i feel all the freedom of a
woodland flower,
every bright inch of my being

blossoming from the stem.

the clouds rush in little rivers
their whites billowing like shirts on a
washing line, small temples of god.

i think of you, and every
muscle remembers my love
while you dream of the sea.

.

Lately I have lost time…
minutes and hours,
moments of the day pass by
without notice

I arrive at places not knowing
how I got there
I have held conversations
but can’t recall speaking

Watched the sun rise in the morning
and then set again that afternoon,  
unable to remember
anything in between

Found myself wondering
where has the day gone,
what have I been doing,
it seems like nothing

Except constantly thinking about us,
these wonderful daydreams
of you and me…
what we could be doing

Days at the beach, candle lit dinners
walks in the park, quiet nights at home,
holding hands in the moonlight,
skipping stones at the lake

Dancing until dawn, morning coffee,
kissing on the veranda, sleeping in,
making love in the rain, counting stars,
falling for each other over and over again…

There, you see, it has happened again,
I just wrote this poem, I think  
and my only recollection is
another moment lost in thoughts of you

hindi ko malaman
kung saan
papunta ang
pinili kong daan

hindi ko mawari
ang sidhi
at ang pag-iisip kong hati
bakit kailangang pumili?

saan?
tangan
ramdam,
saktan

sinubukang umikot
sa eskinitang baluktot
kailanma'y 'di ko malilimot
na doon ko nakita ang sagot

Hindi ko na kaya
ang nararamdaman
umaapaw, sobra na
sa pag-indak ay nais ilabas
ang pagkahumaling sa
katotohanan na hindi ko na masukat
kung gaano kalalim ako nahulog
*sa iyo

Pinipili ng mga mata ko
ang nais nitong makita
sapagkat tanda ko noon
lahat ay sadyang tinitignan
lahat ay gusto nitong masilayan at
maobserbahan ngunit ngayon
parang nais na lamang
pumikit at manirahan sa dilim

Pinipili ng mga mata ko*
ang nais nitong makita
at ikaw ang napili ng mga ito
kahit ang pakiramdam ay parang
nasa dilim ngunit maliwanag at kitang-kita
na iba ang dahilan
kung bakit ika’y masaya
at kapiling ang iba

ground zero
i become aware of boundaries
i am a dog chasing cars
i sing your voicemail to sleep
there are no surgeon general warnings
to tell me that
the objects in the mirror
are more depressed than they appear
so how do i tell you
that there are parts of my life
that move slower
without you in them?
or that i look for you every day
in emails & unanswered calls
in the sunrises
i didn't choose to be awake to watch
that i sometimes still stare at doorways hoping you would walk through them
   *stage 1 you tell your new lover you've got a splinter and they pull the sound of your body falling asleep on mine out of your fingertip
   stage 2 your new lover says something at dinner that makes you choke so they call 911 & the paramedics do the hymleich not knowing you would ***** our promises all over the the restaurant
   stage 3 your new lover surprises you by cleaning the house & washes the shirt you kept next to the bed, not knowing it was the last thing you had that smelled like me
after
people always ask
what was loving her like?
after a really long silence
i just say
"it must be nice"
but i never say
it's watching paint dry
i never say
it's a window seat in hell
i don't tell anyone
about the dreams
where i am reading you
bedtime stories
each one is a different way you die
& every time i can never save you
dreams where what i think
are angels in my bedroom
are just homeless versions
of myself you never loved
i have dreams
where i pay someone to shoot me
just to see if you would cry
just to see
if you would cradle my body
i don't tell people
that loving you is like
playing piano
for someone who can't hear
that it's hitting repeat
on my favorite song
& forgetting the words
every time it starts over
that it's finding out
there's no milk after you already
poured yourself a bowl of cereal
it's getting locked in the dark
& being told to
look on the bright side
that loving you is like
being reminded of what it felt like
the first time
you accidentally let go
of a balloon as a child
it's drowning without the water
it's the feeling you get
when you start to dance
& the song ends