You're special for me
Everything about you fascinated me
Our goals together written in our mind
Now, you want my feelings to be blind?

I wonder why
You're saying goodbye
I still love you
But, is it right to fight for you?

- SS

Memory of you is... a blue spear of flower.
I cannot remember the name of it.
Alongside a bold dripping poppy is fire and silk.
                         And they cover you.

Lurching stomachs,
churning craze,
  eternal loss,
   maybe the day?
    Loss of hope,
     murmuring voices,
      old faces,
       new places.

I give up on love
I give up wondering whether or not me and the guy I am with are going to last forever
I give up on the little things that make a girl smile now but eventually end up hurting her in the future
I give up on the kisses
I give up on the hugs
I give up on the happiness that comes when you fall in love
I give up on feeling what the other person is feeling
I give up anniversaries and dinners to meet parents who will always find a reason as to why you are not good enough for their son
I give up on special moments and promises
I give up getting close to somebody just so they can break me into a million pieces
I give up being emotionally lonely
I give up being ignored
I give up on everything that has to do with love
I can't keep doing this to my heart anymore

It never was that I loved a cigarette,
more than you.
Just that I knew every morning,
when I rolled over,
my smokes would still be on the nightstand.
But your keys would be gone.