I.
once you fed me a magic fungus
you wove me a hat
to keep me warm from the cold
we walked outside
the night twinkling
holding hands melding into the earth
melding into each other
we came home
you breathed into my hands
and as you ran me a bath
I saw the violence in myself
the red lines down my legs
a reminder
of how i'd been hurt
and you understood
holding me in the hot water
we boiled with our tears
into a healing broth full of hope

II.
i was so young before
so hurt
nothing's changed except
you dont feel here anymore
you feel as far as your new home
even when you're directly beside me
our entire lives by each other's side
only to be torn apart
left to my own devices
i feel you missing everyday
but not the you that sleeps in a tiny town
the you that slept next to me
when I thought nothing could take you away from me.

//////////////

Thinking about it gives me lice, oh my god it bugs me. Sometimes it still feels like it might set my skin on fire, most days it just feels like a sunburn.

I would love to move on but she's stuck in my head like a song.

A body in the freezer. A bag over my head. A black eye like an oil spill. I’m still pulling out the splinters. A damp spot in the basement. A stain on the carpet. Every coat hanger in the closet. On the ceiling fan. Dangling like an ornament. A chill in these hallways. Footsteps in the attic. A broken light switch. Duct tape over my mouth so I won’t talk about it...
Well what do you think, is this house haunted?

Scary when you can go all day without saying a word. At some point you end up in restaurants and grocery stores hoping someone who works there will ask you what you want, if they can help you find what you're looking for. And you will say I hope so but I don't know if anyone can.

It's not that I’m hurt, it’s that I think I’ve been wounded.
If you wanted to be animals you should have done it outside.
I said you made me too sad and he sends his condolences in a get well soon card and he asks if he can sign the cast.
I KEEP PLAYING IT BACK:
HIS HANDS ARE BOTTLE OPENERS. SHE'S A RAKE IN HIS LAP. THIS FEELING IS LUKEWARM AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE BITTER IN THE ALCOHOL.
IF YOU WANTED TO BE ANIMALS YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT OUTSIDE.
I COULDN'T SLEEP IN MY BED
MY ROOM WASN'T MINE
I WANTED TO THROW MYSELF FROM THE BALCONY
I WANTED TO SEE
JUST HOW MANY BONES
I COULD GET AWAY WITH BREAKING
...
That night left a bruise.
And I'm
                 Still reeling.

She undresses like an orange peel.
It's her lace on the rug and
she is so dizzy from kissing him.

I will get to the bottom of this and by that I do mean the bottle.
I will go until my bellies full of venom and like cement,
It will churn in my stomach all night.
My head is always spinning like a washing machine.
No one ever hits on you if your drinking straight whiskey.