If I could, I would count all the ways my troubled disposition
led to the breaking of my own heart
or maybe how your fugitive tendencies always caught up to you
the faintest sign of affection
and you disappeared before I could muster the words that might’ve changed your mind
it’s inescapable, the moon will ceaselessly pull souls like ours together
our hearts are magnetic but you lost your innocence too young
and I was always searching to fill the emptiness I didn't know was there
again and again, the demons within us will be too heavy to push away
so they will overtake us
consume us until we become a slave to all of our wrongdoings
and I’m sorry I kept asking you to fight away what we both knew would only break us apart
you can write poetry in our shadows but they will always follow behind

Love is not giving yourself away piece by shattered piece
to convince him to feel about you what you feel for him
it is not a million misused chances for the stubborn hope that the pretty words you write will make him want to stay
it is not allowing him to treat your body like a hotel, to come and go in his own pleasure
because he knows better than to think there will come a day where you may have changed the locks
love is not an inexhaustible cycle of sleepless nights
spent wondering what variant of himself he may show you tomorrow
if he shows you one at all
love is not stripping yourself of all the armor you put on to shield away all of his demons
his lips may taste like honey but baby they burnt your skin
and he is already painting her the pictures you thought were only meant for you

I don’t get to write sad poetry anymore
Not when you nested between my ribs like a second heart,
beating an orchestra,
a whole concerto against my skin.
There’s gentle fingers on my scraped knees,
they don’t feel so painful anymore.

If I were your light,
     I would conquer all shadows
     From your mind, your heart, your soul.

I would chase your demons
     Until they expired. No more hiding
     Under bed nor closet. No more ghouls.

If I were your hero,
     I would keep you safe.
     I would heal your broken wings.

My strength would fortify,
     Reassure and comfort. You'd have peace
     Of such as the nightingale sings.

If I were your moon,
     You could fall asleep in the embrace
     Of my glow. Darkness no more.

But if I were the moon,
     You must be the sun. It is your love
     I reflect. Your love that I adore.

Who is this girl chasing after a boy?
Darling, you are worth so much more
He has failed to see that

I know I can’t stop you
as long as the pain in your heart remains
you will follow the one who you think can fix it

But he is not the only source
there is a place of overflowing joy
A place where the truth prevails

In your Father’s arms
there is love everlasting
I hope you find it someday

there are days when it feels heavy
and the wait is too long for me to take
so i try to make pretend that there is no longer real
and instead here is all that exists

but i know you–
you and i are alive at the same time

we are living under the same blanket of stars

we see the same moon

one day the distance will close
the miles will melt away like snow
and it will be beautiful

but for now, we wait,
and we cling onto the hand of the Maker
who is all in all and more than enough
to fill the emptiness in the cavity of our chests

we will walk that way, my darling, and soon
but we must learn to walk with Love Himself
if we want to walk it well

until then,

we wait.