How long does it take to break a bad habit?
Some bad habits never go away. I don’t mean that you just learn to live with them, although you might. Biting your nails isn’t so bad compared to loving someone.
What do you do when your bad habit is a person? When they echo in your mind, when your eyes search for them when you walk into a room. And when they aren’t there, you don’t stop looking. You may not realize you are doing it, but just as if someone might bring their fingers to their mouth to bite their nails, your eyes glide over ever face, every set of feet. If they are there, you get calmer. You feel relaxed, almost comforted.
Then, you realize.
You look down. You curse yourself for even letting their name cross your mind, you try to distract yourself. You tell yourself that you don’t need them, that they are just hurting you and they don’t matter. You tell yourself that you will stop.
Someone that bites their nails might pull their hand away from their mouth, maybe put their hands in their pockets. And sure, it works. It works until you forget what you’re trying to forget. They start biting their nails again. And then, ******* it, they hate themselves.
Some people might try to accept it, and some might never overcome it. Maybe they’ll spend their entire life biting their nails. Maybe they’ll spend their entire life loving someone that isn’t good for them. But, who cares. After all, some bad habits never go away.