Long nights
roads are steep
I still fight
Even when I sleep

Even though pain hurts and I groan
I keep fighting
Never standing alone

I keep falling
But I still stand
No matter how rocky things get
On any type of land

Any type of hope
In any place
I still try to keep
A smile on my face

No matter how tough the trail gets
I still try
My very best

You say you hate your body
Many people do
But the human body is art
And nature
Which means that so is everything we hate about it

It's okay to have scars
The trees have them too
And they're still beautiful

The stretch marks on your skin
Are but the lightings in the sky
The beautiful, beautiful lighting
And those bumps are the stars

The fat, extra skin, cellulite are just the beautiful ocean water
And our hair is grass in an open field

And all of this is Art
Magic
Poetry
Nature
All of this is beautiful
So are you

i finally found a friend who cares!
    no its too good to be true.
but, but she's not like the others, she's kind and sweet!
    ur delusional, that does not exist.
hello?
you were right.
it was too good to be true.

My head is not right today.
I have no idea why it's this way.

It switches from one thought to another.
I feel like I am being smothered.

I can't finish just one thought.
In a group is where they are brought.

I'm under so much stress.
There are things I should confess.

Some people say I am so strong,
But in reality, they couldn't be more wrong.

The outer part of me puts on that smile
While the inner me has been dying for a while.

I hate this part of my disease.
It literally brings me to my knees.

From a great mood to nasty as hell.
Which it's gonna be, I can never tell.

Most of the days I can push through.
Today I don't know what to do.

It comes with no known trigger.
It's not going away; it's only getting bigger.

Bigger, louder, and extremely strong.
I wish I knew what was wrong.

I want to cry, but I don't know what for.
I hate this disease; I don't want it anymore.

I get these terrible pains in my chest.
Feels like the Lord is gonna lay me to my final rest.

Will these feelings only last for today?
'Cause it feels like they will never go away.

In reality it will not.
A life sentence is what I got.

I could be flying high in the fluffiest cloud.
Then, bam, I crash onto the ground.

I wonder if people truely understand
What really goes on in my land.

How could they when even I don't?
How could they when they simply won't?

This not only takes a toll on me,
But it affects my friends and family,

Especially those days I cannot hide
The deep dark depression I feel inside.

Some days I'm just not strong enough.
Some days are just too tough.

But most of the days I seem to manage
To get through them without serious damage.

Well at least to others
Is what I mutter

Things aren't usually this bad,
But you won't know which I have had

'Cause that is what we do.
We pretty it up for you.

I can't keep that clear thought in my head.
I'm done with this crap; I am going to bed

I don't like it when people fight.
My mom and dad do every night.
I lie in bed and pretend to be asleep.
My mom looks in; I don't make a peep.

Sometimes I wish I didn't live here.
I'm a little girl who only feels fear.
When I go to school I put on a big smile.
I pretend things are fine, and it works for a while.

But there are days when I am very sad.
When I've been called names and told that I'm bad,
Then I keep to myself and hide my shame,
For I don't really know who to blame.

I'm scared to have friends come over to play.
I never dare ask if my friends can stay,
For I don't know when they will start.
I'm just a little girl trying to be smart.

The dishes breaking, the yelling, the shouting.
Their fights are ever so mounting.
I'm the innocent victim who feels rejected
Instead of feeling loved and respected.

But maybe if I wish really hard
The memories will ease and I won't be scarred.
When I awaken, maybe my wish will come true.
Out with the old and in with the new.

A new way of living for my parents and I.
There'll be no more tears for the little girl to cry,
But it's really ******* children to grow up like this.
They'll look back on a childhood they really missed.

I was birthed to you
Wrapped in silk so new
The way you held me
You hadn’t had a clue
The love you give now so forced not true
like my lungs are sickly
Like I breathe different air than you do

I was always your doll porcelain and fair
Not another of in the world so rare
Dressed me up, styled my hair
never unsound always in your care
“You’re my daughter and my best friend a pair”

But as I grew older found my own skin to wear
Too big to be a doll and fit in your chair
your once awed stare turned into a glare
I became something you were forced to bear
My fractured lungs now complete with a tear

Swaddled in softness now became harsh
you’re words put into my mouth felt so starch
Left the flowers to die thirsty and parched
Here comes falling the golden arch

My father got his sons bold and strong
secret animosity you held because I couldn’t follow along
always gave me the sense I didn’t belong
Somehow my porcelain was now cracked and wrong

**** the color out of my glass
Porcelain now fragile and frail
A doll afraid and pale
“Don’t fail”
“Pay attention to detail”
But am i even put on the right trail

Every time I speak you stuff my mouth with petals
Built a new doll over again with faulty metals
Set up to certain standards, levels
But what is porcelain without proper trestles

a legacy i couldn’t uphold
Ever since you realized you grew cold
You dropped the porcelain and expected it to stay fair and bold
When it broke you left it to rot and mould
Came back to put it back together
then got displeased when it wouldn’t hold
The cracks you caused now something you scold

I’ve learned to speak with my petal stuffed mouth
Broken glass north and south
Learned to live with you thinking I’m uncouth  
Sinking in your words I’m doused

There isn’t a word I can wail to drown you out
Because there’s just more you’ll shout
The shrieks completing my porcelain with a crack
Maybe this once you’ll wash my back

At every dispute you can hear the porcelains crash
The everlasting bruising rash
So ****** and brash

Obligated to love this broken doll by fate
But all you’ll ever show is dislike and hate
The golden spoon laid by a broken plate
In me, you’ve lost all faith

An old doll’s dress unraveling at the hem
A growing flower cut off at the stem
The slipping dress, the doll you now condemn
The porcelain once bright as a gem

But I’ll die your daughter after all
all you’ll ever see is the dropped doll
every time you look at me it’s all you recall
The only thought that’ll ever fall
You still see her so fair and small
After her name forever you’ll call

You don't want to meet me here
Torn between my hope and fear
A fallen angel lurking near
Is looking for an honest ear
The angels in a demons cloth
Impurities into the wash
A strength of which the weak will watch
When time is at a pricely cost
But you cannot teach the blind to see
Only feel, only be,
An insight that must come from thee:
To absolve the soul; I set it free.

He doesn’t even hear the phone.
His skin is melted to the  bone.
Flicking lighters, getting higher.
He awaits to beg the buyer
To get more, to get more,
His body aches and then it’s sore.
It’s the rush, it’s the sting
All the comfort that it brings
Til it’s gone, til it’s ceased
To his knees. Amen. Now, peace.
Carry on. This isn’t real.
Keep the secret. That’s the deal.
I’ll keep quiet. I will hide it.
I will do my best to fight it.
But the horse is at the water,
I am the lamb and this is slaughter.