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bitter can either be a taste or feeling
i don’t know if i am dealing with both
i have to let go of those feelings
i need some growth
it’s just the way your name rolls off my tongue leaves a bad taste behind
when you come to mind
it gets me feeling upset
this is a secret that can’t be kept
Trying To
Repeatedly Get
All These
Pathetic Emotions / Thoughts Out Of My Head
Pleading With Myself
Every Moment
Endlessly
Dying To Forget & Get Rid Of This Impulsive Behavior
interesting
making
people
effortlessly
reflect
from
everything
chosen by society
to
ignite
ourselves
not knowing it’s beauty not to be perfect
i don’t know lol
Seeking
Every Inch
Lowering Myself
For
Lies
Only
Voiced By
Everyone Who So - Called “Loves” Me
sway - “how have you been ?”


me - but you sit and you think about things. you replay moments in your head . you think about the first signs of trouble you ignored. you think about the way you accommodated your needs for them , compromises , half smiles , nights in bed with them .. etc  you realize **** . you don’t really like the way they laugh, they’re actually pretty stupid , you were blinded etc ...  then you think to yourself was this love ? did i only like movies on sundays because it’s what they wanted ? or because i enjoyed it ? did i like chocolate chips cookies because it was their fav or it taste good ? & then you’re like NO . it wasn’t for me , that wasn’t me , i wasn’t myself . you probably thought this person was the “one” . then you look back , i mean really look back & then you’re like no . so you just delete all that **** . and you start over . you start to feel good , better than before . you feel relieved . what’s for YOU will always be for YOU . so you go through this whole process .  it’s not easy, but it’s worth it . somedays you wanna eat your heart out & you wanna cry to the sky . wondering why you have to go through this stupid ****. other days you lay back and smile at the sky while the sun shines down on you & you feel good . you start to realize all good things take time . you don’t rush it or half *** it . you go through it . and you’re gonna feel great . you’re gonna feel like one of Van Gogh’s pieces in a world that lacks color . but you made it . rome wasn’t built in day & neither were you .
my friend sway is going through a breakup and he asked me for advice that was my answer
i tell myself as i lay in bed
“ you’ll get better “
“your stomachs flat”
“he’s just going through something”
“everyone has their days”
“it could be worse “
“i need to buy all these things”
“i’m running on a time limit”
“it’s me against the world”
“nobody understands me”
“eh it’s not self loathing anymore”
“he misses me”
“he’ll text me soon”
i guess i don’t have any taste buds anymore
i just eat these lies up
they don’t leave a sour taste in my mouth anymore
i palter with myself
i get hungry when i lay in bed late nights
so i feel myself words of deceit
i tell myself all these things that are untrue
all these pretty lies
instead of the horrible truth
i’m a mess , this poems a mess
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