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they say “griefing is part of life that heals you”
but if its apart of yourself that you want to ****?
because you are filled with so much guilt.
but you want to rebuild, yet feel so unfulfilled
wanting  the experince for the thrill
while being still and stagnant
forming detachments
to love and not be loved in return
what a curse
that hurts
which makes my heart burst
4 .
4 .
the fourth
fourth day of the week
a four letter word to describe how i feel about you
four years ago you made my life
four years later i still feel the same about you
i want four more years or even 4 decades
i want to be yours 4ever
lucky number 4
I'll do anything 4 you
so today's the 4th & four years later
i still have been here
No one
Ever understands how it feels
i wrote a poem about you
it's about how your smiles as bright as the sun
how you warm up my heart like hot chocolate on a cold winter day
how soft your lips are like the clouds floating in the sky
or how delicious your kisses are like fruit from a tropical rain forest
or how you're as strong as the wind blowing on an autumn afternoon
or how you light up my world like the stars in the night sky
or how my love for you is as big as the rings on Jupiter
or how you're my other half like the better side of the Oreo
i wrote a poem you saying all the things I'm afraid to say
or how you're my inspiration on how i write today
this poem is about you if you ever get to read it
and if you do just know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and i mean it ❤️
you are my canvas
i will paint you with passion
let your soul come to life with beautiful radiant colors
molding you into perfection
you will be my david , standing beautiful and strong
you will be my starry night
because whenever i look at you i see the stars
my muse .
i wish you were a book
so i can brag to everyone how wonderful and gracious your words are to me
I'd underline my favorite thing about you
and highlight the times where you'd make me smile
i wish you were a book so I could cherish you forever and never let you down on a bookshelf to collect dust
i wish you were a book so i could use you as an escape to get away from reality for awhile

i wish you were a book so that i can lick my finger to flip through pages the way you lick you lips when we kiss , passionately

i wish you were a book so you could be my number one favorite of all time
you ever want someone to treat you the way you treat your favorite book?
but you’re not on the same page
somehow the words don’t come out his mouth
and he can’t form sentences
so the pages have nothing but nonsense
and you don’t understand it
blank page after blank page
he can’t see the value in you
how you form the  most whimsical
and how you got a way with words
but he’s full of typos and his sentences are all over the place
you’re a best seller and he’s a flop
i don’t ******* know
I must be a boomerang
He Tosses Me Away
And I Come Right Back
you have shattered my heart into pieces
yet my love for you increases
i’ve got to have some diseases
to be sick enough and accept this fate
to bottle up all the words i ate
and not feel hate
but to wait
for you to feel the same
in this sick sad game
idk what i’m saying anymore
Over Backwards
Knowing that not
Even Once You Would Do The Same For Me
Now I am left Severed
our relationship wasn't the moon or the stars
but it wasn't ******* either .
i guess you could say .
probably much more than that
maybe I'm lying
maybe I'm DELUSIONAL .
if anyone knew how much i cry
they would see that my tears would
fill up oceans
because of my pent up emotions
it’ll make waves and have them crash
causing a commotion of distress
or maybe even creating a hurricane
out of all the pain
but when life’s a mess
what’s there to gain ?
something that I am
wish i was like the rain showers in April  so I can be all the water you need to watch you bloom into a beautiful flower . I want to the be the bee that gives you the nectar so you can grow from a bud to the most beautiful rose in the garden. or be the soil to the seed to watch you form into the biggest tree in the forest .
but sadly I am nothing but a flood you will drown within me . a beetle which is no good to your bud causing it to decay & mud so you can fully grow .
delicious as any taste could be
yet sinful and bad to indulge in if I have too much
too much of you and I'd end up saying 7 Hail Marys before bed
got me running to confessions on Tuesday nights
just the thought of you and I'm already sinning
I gotta keep you a secret before word gets out
you're the only thing I want on my lips
you are fragile
and i want to pick up every broken piece
i want to mend the pieces
make you whole again
the though of you still haunts my mind
i can still feel your fingertips running down my back
crazy how you're not dead
and i can still feel your body on my bed
i just cant seem to get you out of my head
instead of staying you fled
on your side of the bed are all the tears i shed
memories of you are what i dread
all you did was mislead
while all i did was misread
my tongue holds all the things unsaid
while you leave all my texts unread
my heart yearns for a place
where i get to call "home"
it'll be my own
just me all alone
where i can learn things and make things
be home grown
somewhere i won't feel unknown
where i can be sitting on my throne
and nothing will be destroyed like a cyclone
sweet like the kisses from your lips
sticky like our atoms attracted to each other
best remedy for my soul , sweet kisses to help me feel better
honey is what I call you since you're so sweet to me
you're my honey best nectar I've ever had
want to keep you stored for ages
honey better than any medicine out that's used to cure this love sickness which is you
i look at you and realize why hurricanes are named after people

you came and destroyed every bit of me

your waves just crashed into me and dragged me away

swept me away and left me deserted

there is nothing left to me

now i am an abandoned abyss

i am bad history

just a faint memory of the damages you have caused

nothing left but low tides and bad rides
rambling not my best work lol
your fingertips cut me like unswept glass every time you touch me
my ears bleed every time they hear your lies
my tongues gets sores from tasting the sourness off your mouth
my eyes cry from looking at the person standing in front of me and realizing you’re not the person you used to be before
my heart breaks from the promises you said you would fulfil but didn’t
my feet hurt from always walking the extra mile for you
my arms are sore from having them always stretched wide open waiting for you
How could you not
Understand that even though you broke me , i
Really still
Truly love you .
breakup’s ****
chosen by society
not knowing it’s beauty not to be perfect
i don’t know lol
thinking of you and i want to *****
i had such a fasination with you
such desperation
i was drunk with your ways
love is blind as they say
but you made me sick
just because you had good ****
it was all just gone to quick
a maze
my minds been in daze
where i constantly think about you and i
starring at the stars in the night sky
but then i think about the time
you broke my heart and i wanted to die
i think of you and sign in frustration
because there will never be any reconciliation
due to your unsettling ways
i lack the vocabulary to describe you
but if i can put words together and come up with something
i’d say you are my mona lisa
my work of art
my masterpiece
you complete me
they see you , then they see me
i tell myself as i lay in bed
“ you’ll get better “
“your stomachs flat”
“he’s just going through something”
“everyone has their days”
“it could be worse “
“i need to buy all these things”
“i’m running on a time limit”
“it’s me against the world”
“nobody understands me”
“eh it’s not self loathing anymore”
“he misses me”
“he’ll text me soon”
i guess i don’t have any taste buds anymore
i just eat these lies up
they don’t leave a sour taste in my mouth anymore
i palter with myself
i get hungry when i lay in bed late nights
so i feel myself words of deceit
i tell myself all these things that are untrue
all these pretty lies
instead of the horrible truth
i’m a mess , this poems a mess
You're so tempting
Like the snake convincing Eve to take a bite out of the apple
Forbidden fruit. So bad but taste so good.
Intensively to
Single lie you tell
lovely words you speak
if only you spoke the truth
but you don't do so
these days i have realized that loneliness is underrated
i have become it's mother , nurtured it
maybe even sister and brother
i have learned it's innocence
loneliness and i have grown so fondly of each other
it loves me the way no one has loved me before
it clings onto me
like a new born holds onto its mother
maybe even become it's lover
crashing into each other like rapid waves
or even drowning , maybe even dragging each other down
oh sweet loneliness
such a bitter sweet feeling
it has learned me in ways no has ever done
i wonder when will it be gone
but will this be the end
or have we become one ?
have i become lonely or has loneliness become me ?
are something? have we become a "we"?
the most simple yet complex feeling ever
is this something i am afraid of
am i hiding behind this mask?
or are you hiding yourself from me?
i dont know , i think this is *******
The Smell Of Books
When You’re Outside On A Beautiful Day & You Feel The SunRays On Your Skin Your Very First Summer Adventure
Seeing The Person You Love Smile & Your Heart Melts
Being Around The People You Love / Adore
Watching Your Favorite Movie
Eating Your Favorite Food
Having A Good Laugh
Hearing Your Favorite Song
Laying In Bed After A Long Day
Seeing Your Dog Run To You
Hugging Someone and Smelling Their Perfume / Cologne
Spending Time With A Signifiant Other
It’s Complicated
Having A Connection With Someone
Butterflies In Your Stomach
when jay ask me to define love
Adding fuel to this
Dangerous fire inside me
i wish i had some guidance
someone to take me the right way
give me directions
i'm stuck in this maze
i'm in a daze
counting down the days
to get over this phase
you were like a maze
nothing but dead ends i kept running into
i was trying to find my way out
but instead you let me get trapped inside
no exit or beginning
i need to spread my wings
fly away
i need to find my nectar
i need to find a pretty flower that'll help me grow
instead i'm still a caterpillar
stuck in a dead dried up desert
nothing but thorns
and rotting plants
no light
but darkness
i need to get away
i need my pretty little wings to come out
and help me fly away
i need growth
i need to evolve
something i wish i wasn't so much of .
childish is what you called me
but you have failed to realized i have loved you in the most innocent child like ways
you were the sun shining on me while i laid in the grass , you made me feel warm
your kisses tasted sweet like ice cream on a hot summer day
sleeping under you was my fort
you kept me safe
What You Have
What I Dont Want To Be
Just Want To Be A Priority
i loved you so carelessly and free
like butterflies fluttering around in a garden
my love for you was scared and reckless
like flying a plane for the first time
my only stop and destination was you
i loved you so intensely that i would drink the poison from romeo
if it meant i get to spend the rest of my life with you
i loved you the way a mother holds her
newborn child for the first time
but you ruined it , you wrecked me
you took me down like the berlin wall
now there’s nothing left of me
i thought i only read about our love in books
and saw them in movies
how messy it ended up to be.
how it shattered like a vase
there’s no way we can piece it back together
it was damaged but beautiful
like you
really over
done in this office
sway - “how have you been ?”

me - but you sit and you think about things. you replay moments in your head . you think about the first signs of trouble you ignored. you think about the way you accommodated your needs for them , compromises , half smiles , nights in bed with them .. etc  you realize **** . you don’t really like the way they laugh, they’re actually pretty stupid , you were blinded etc ...  then you think to yourself was this love ? did i only like movies on sundays because it’s what they wanted ? or because i enjoyed it ? did i like chocolate chips cookies because it was their fav or it taste good ? & then you’re like NO . it wasn’t for me , that wasn’t me , i wasn’t myself . you probably thought this person was the “one” . then you look back , i mean really look back & then you’re like no . so you just delete all that **** . and you start over . you start to feel good , better than before . you feel relieved . what’s for YOU will always be for YOU . so you go through this whole process .  it’s not easy, but it’s worth it . somedays you wanna eat your heart out & you wanna cry to the sky . wondering why you have to go through this stupid ****. other days you lay back and smile at the sky while the sun shines down on you & you feel good . you start to realize all good things take time . you don’t rush it or half *** it . you go through it . and you’re gonna feel great . you’re gonna feel like one of Van Gogh’s pieces in a world that lacks color . but you made it . rome wasn’t built in day & neither were you .
my friend sway is going through a breakup and he asked me for advice that was my answer
i can taste the ******* on your lips when you kiss me
leaving me nothing but a bitter taste of the lies you speak
knowing that your words make me meek
& your touch makes me weak
its souch a great technique
makes my ******* leak
from the lies coming out of your mouth
making me aroused
knowing that our relationshit isn’t allowed
we have this cosmic relationship
your love is out of this world
wish it would be endless like a black hole
but it'll soon be out the picture like Pluto
sometimes i feel like i will erupt like the top of Mt. Evrest
or that i will fall like a broken birds nest
or fail as if life's a test
just because i feel like my life's such a mess
even when i'm trying my best
sometimes i want to permanently rest
Every Inch
Lowering Myself
Voiced By
Everyone Who So - Called “Loves” Me
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