Do we matter?

She thought she had it all
everything she needed
tried keeping it all to herself
tightly in her hands
but she didn't notice it slipping from her grasp.
and darling, don't you know,
you can't hold onto slippery soap

then
oppurtunies missed
friends lost
through her fingers
slowly but surely
turned to an hourglass
grains of
s
   a
n
     d
falling aimlessly
unnecessarily
to the ground

cut flowers
because we believe
that they are so wonderful

and our wrists
because we percieve
that we will never be beautiful

I'm scared that no one takes me seriously
That everything I say is labeled "dumb"
That they laugh when my back is turned
That I'm secretly "the joke".

I wonder if the people who get talked about
Know and don't give a sh*t,
Or are completely oblivious to it.

If it were me,
If I were the **** of those jokes,
I would crack
And crumble into shards.
And I surely would not make it out alive.

                            -m.m.

I pictured you so differently in mind
I'm disappointed with you turned out to be
Who you were all along.
I've spent my lifetime searching
Four years allotted just to you.

While you...
You talked over me
You ignored me
You didn't care about me
You made me feel worthless
And I was in love with you.

But I made excuses for you
I wrote your lines
Molded you into my Prince Charming.
I made you the lead
Of my autobiography.
But when the curtain closed
You were still the same boy
Who wasn't in love with me.

Then one day I fired you,
I cast someone else.
But you kept returning
In the flashbacks.

Stop grinning.
Stop grazing my arm.
Stop winking.
Stop
     c
            o
    n
f
       u
          s
  i
n
      g

me.

How can I move on
If you're still in the script?
If you're still in the play?
If you're still in my life?
You know I can't,
And that's your ace,
You've done it to plenty of other directors like me.
And you've always been a good actor.