So as I sit here and droop my toes over the end of my bed frame,
and watch my fish blow orbs to the ceiling,
despite the tranquility,
I feel myself sinking.
Silence is drowning.

oh what light
shall brighten
up the
stars of night
until
you hear
a whisper
from
a storm
in sight

writing, working, weeping
thinking, trying, teasing
the women that flow to me
when i cant take them
my friends and family suffering
world hunger
hate
disease
why cant i stop
the madness
why cant i stop
thinking of her

in the dark all alone
fingers weak trembling
to light a flame
so he can smoke
lips on paper
fire in his face
he inhales once more
drawing the fire closer
paper disappearing
muscles relaxing
the plant spreads
through his body
in his lungs
hardened from cigarettes
through his blood it creeps
quietly rapidly
with out a peep
the room hazy
distorted
he is relaxed
until the drug wears off
roll lick light
another cycle
repeated twice more
a sound breaks the silence
the door opens
in the gap a silohuette
short
daddy
it cries
the smoker turns away
as the door closes

the next day
with pockets empty he weeps
a child on his leg
no more
no more
a different life he needs
a person he wants
girlfriends, pets, kids
his wife
have all left

in his house alone
fingers weak trembling
to press the trigger
and an angel speaks
No
No
it cant be
what could god want with me
a loner an addict
a failure

his mother speaks
floating above him
no my son
you can be good
try
let it escape
and he tries and fails
repeating what he did before
gun in hand he cries
with his heart
his mind
his soul
his mothers face
the last thing he sees
despaired, she turns away
biting his tongue
fire in his face
he inhales the lead
and an angel cries

i hate that saying
"there are no mistakes in art"
because the truth is
the only true art is a mistake
a mistake in its purest finest and most beautiful form

and the light of the
empty parking
garage

casts shadows of
delirious days
before
me

thank God
there is light to
see the shadows