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Feelings climb out of me constantly
Twisting my stomach and pulling at my heart
For once
I wish i didnt feel sick
So nauseated by my emotions
So extreme
Stuck inside
Such a fragile case.
The moment those words sparked from your fingertips,
My heart simultaneously
Broke into billions of pieces
At your hand, one last time,
And my mind was filled with an indifference
That I could no longer control.
An indifference that my heart
Had previously overpowered,
But you see, now that my heart is scattered.
Like the ashes of a withered ancient woman
Over the sea, it can no longer remind
My stubborn mind of
The past, and what could be the present.
It's a curious thing-
Feeling nothing. After four long weeks
Of feeling everything
Despite remaining silent for my
Intense emotions were worthless.
Worthless emotions, worthless if expressed
In any form.
Eyes, arms, song, words spoken or recorded.
Worthless.
The pain of this knowledge.
The pain of love that I did not want but
Could no longer control.
But now
As I weave these words together,
My fingers clicking away
Drifting to a place far from my body.
But now,
The shards of my heart, swarming through space,
Desperately in search for one another,
I feel nothing.
It's no longer in my hands
If you're not prepared to suffer in love
If you fear being destroyed by love
If you fear being burnt by its flames
Then...love isn't for you
For you cannot understand the true meaning of love without a wee bit of suffering
Last day we stand- in the same place.
Still one mile before the road forks,
And you go this way, and I- the other.
My time with you- its slipping away...
So fast, that it scares.
And between silence, togetherness and other things,
Just one thought-you're going to be gone.
I smile. But I'm afraid.
You know. You smile back.
And as we walk to the end of the road,
I want to look at you-for the last time. But it hurts.
So we whisper goodbyes, say that we'll meet again..
Knowing how lame it sounds.
There's so much to say that it chokes
And as you walk away, you know you're taking a piece of me with you.
I watch you go
And though I'd die a hundred deaths to see you- just once,
I scream inside- Don't... Don't turn back.
And you hear. You always do.
You walk straight till you disappear.
I look at the other road,and I know I'll be able to go this way.
Because two roads will cross someday.
A clever spider
Who bunches his feet
To become round like a tiny stone

An early morning swim
Alone in the Atlantic
Waves of sand gentle
Beneath my feet
A seagull resting on the glassy surface
My sole companion

Coffee sweetened with sugar

My soul guiding me
Not my mind

My last day of holidays
In Cornwall

Beautiful land of nature
May you always remain
Untouched by the impatient advances
Of avaricious technology

Today I travel from coast to coast
But my memories of this beautiful day
Nourish me
And prepare me for
A new future
12th August 2016
 Aug 2016 LostInDreamsJW
MJ Lee
HUSH
 Aug 2016 LostInDreamsJW
MJ Lee
Silence

That’s what you wanted
Just accepted silence
Just desired crying
Just no more defience

So why the **** do you want my voice
The ironic song bird wedged down my throat
You just want to hear your name screamed out
Whimpered out
Begged

I’d say ******* but you’d take it the wrong way
That or it won’t even reach past my new blue gloss

You want me to speak up now? Well you’ll get it, yet don’t blame me if my voice goes hoarse. My eyes bleed tears of forgiveness when looking disgusting and captivating as I screech like a banshee . With snot dribbling down my chin. With split ends visible in my wooden mane. With eyes turned muddy the unplanned forecast for blood thirst and depression

Like how about I talk about those long nights at McDonald, or when you sung lullabies that implanted insomnia, or the icy touch of your frostbitten hands looking for warmth and all you found was me. How about those whispered words of , “ I really like you.” Cuz four words are worth so much more than three. Each held more meaning than the last as if they were your last breath as you plunged inside me with dagger-claws. Yet I loved it, ****** I loved it! I loved being your barbie doll.

But were they even true

Were all the nights we stared at one another with clamped together hands just the darkness in your coal eyes wanting my spark. My bite. Was it just so you could see if I could be yours. Only yours. I left so many scars on you and you to me, and you told me you loved them. Your fingers would trace my stories I engraved upon your temple. But none were proof enough of how you ****** my mind up with yourself. Made me worshiped like a false goddess undeserving of your praise and love and soul and eyes and ******* I’m back your your dead ******* eyes even when you blinked to show you lived.

You knew I never loved anyone before you. Never held hands before you. Never had any lips besides your cracked ones trying to imitate a desert to trick others of nothingness that you’d whisper only to me. Never told a man nor woman that they were my first of everything before you. I was a tiger lily and you a ****. And you took it all away you ******* hypocrite!

You knew before I could even say wait. And I loved you for it, I still fuckning love you for it cuz I am a *****. My heart never beats when you aren’t around. I never needed to speak, you were the source of my puppeteer voice I used when other’s worried about something.

Yet now you want me to tell you lies. Tell you who hurt me

‘You’

Tell you who used me

‘You’
Tell you who ******* broke me down to a sniveling, worthless pile of ash

‘You’

But instead of telling what was reality I played within your almond flavored fantasies and blamed everyone but you. For no, never you.You, you, you, you, you. Rigamortus won’t stop my hands from grabbing your shirt as I slowly sank to the ninth level of hell.

BECAUSE IT WAS YOU GOD ******* ****** MAN
YOU DID THIS TO ME
I WAS AN AURORA SUNSHINE YET YOU ****** ME DRY
TILL ALL THAT WAS LEFT WERE MONOTONE CLOUDS
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SHOVED YOUR HAND INSIDE ME
AND REPLACED ORGANS WITH STUFFING

YOU DID IT
YOU DID IT
YOU DID IT
YOU DID IT

You're the reason
I slit my throat
******* my vocal cords.
Sewn shut my lips
It's no surprise I was thrown away
Like a broken doll

It's funny you see?
When you're choking you should see the irony
Ain't I the one that needs to hush up
 Aug 2016 LostInDreamsJW
Ryan
Deep in eyes of torment
inside lies a cosmic nebula
a battered core, unstable
a flickering mind, disrupted grace
struck by awe inspiring eyes
the paradoxical wave of beauty
It gets later.
I grow more tired. .
The feelings pour in.
I begin to think too much.
What have I done?
No, what have you done?
You overpowered me.
I gave myself away,
But not to you.
I don't know your name,
Your face, or your soul.
Who are you.
I'll never know.
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