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 Jun 2014 Emily
Andrew Durst
Sometimes,
I just feel really low...

And I can't make sense
of anything
good until
it's standing
    in
    my
    way.
I just wish I could feel positive more often... But I guess we all have our moments (and days) of negativity.
 Jun 2014 Emily
Cross of Iron
desire
 Jun 2014 Emily
Cross of Iron
Its always there, in the back of my mind.
Not like anyone cares
Not like I care much for it either
But its always there

A desire, like a craving for something sweet
A want
A need

It pulls me in sometimes
It wont leave until its satisfied
It never is
I wont allow it

It makes me think
It keeps me sane and aware
It breaks me down and eats me inside


Id be confined
I would be left in isolation, away from those who believe in the illusion of safety

I wouldn't stop at just one
I couldn't have a limit once I begin
Why stop when I have already started?
 Jun 2014 Emily
Fon
Fight
 Jun 2014 Emily
Fon
The worst fight
Is the one
Against feeling
The more you keep resisting
The more it grows deeper
 Jun 2014 Emily
Helen
When we are born
there's no Wrong
or Right
there's no Black or White
there's no indecision
We sleep when we're tired
we eat when hungry
We cry if something's not right
we laugh at anything funny
We see with perfect vision...
At Kindergarten we make our first
Best Friend
The one person that held our hand
when milk time was a disaster
and we napped together
and home time came faster
because Friend times Fun
equals Time goes By
and One plus One
equals Forever Mine
In Little School we first meet
Prejudice
It's the pretty girl
wearing the pretty dress
while your hand me downs
scream your secret shame
It's her you blame
when your lifetime friend
who wore the same milk mustache
as you at Five
takes her side
the waves of I don't get it
washes over you on a tide
of unreasonable insanity
but your Vanity is total
to One minus One
equals Alone on a Beach
totals I Am No One
By High School you're confused
by the elevated status
of the praying mantis
the chickadee that seems to be
an all boy zone that is open 24/7
and the gentleman
that snakes out his hand
to land on your rear end
euphemistically called
the Octopus  
by then...
You've never really got it...
It made no sense
as the informative years
just saw you sitting
upon a bench
crying tears
that you eventually sniffed
upon you Third winter sweater
gazing upon a frozen pond
in the middle of an empty park
you saw the cracks the ice skaters
didn't
but it didn't make you feel better
So you call out... Crack in the Ice!
They look blankly at you twice
and continue to skate
with their own voice in their head
With a shrug your mantra sighs
I did what I could, I can't beat
someone else's vice...

Here come the working years
here comes the awkward fears
Of What if I'm not good enough
Where do I go when I've had enough
Where are my friends that I never made
What if I can't make new friends
Who can I talk to at the end of the day?

So heartbreaking...
to know that your best friend
that wore the same milk mustache
got married 2 years ago
and you weren't invited to the wedding
Even though you lived 2 doors down
for nearly 15 years, shared boy stories
and plenty of chocolate talking
and now she's having her second baby
while her husband is Manager
of the local Tyre King
and stupidly I thought
She got everything!
Except that I couldn't go to her wedding
because I was in South America
and I remember my Mother called
and said You remember Yvette?
She's getting married to Steve
he's going places, they'll have a family
next July, the joy on their faces!
So dear, how's things in Africa?

and I laughed with sorrowful Joy
at my mothers voice and said
Well Mom, the sky is Red
bleeding with sorrow
for all the animals slaughtered
but here's one truth about your daughter
She's actually in Brazil
about to board a boat
to travel further south
to places remote
to take vital medicines
and vaccines to those with no hope
She's taking her fully qualified Doctor
self, alone

Unmarried is not unfulfilled
Solitary is not a life sentence
our lives could be filled with
a million people, but in silence
eventually we'll get it
we're halved

when broken.
 Jun 2014 Emily
Path Humble
Introduction
_____

some words
chase you around
infiltrating and winking,
in emails and poems to
your attention dispatched
undeniably messaging
a wanting to be
realized, completed,
teasingly speaking

you know
a poem newly birthing
in your left brain,
tender pleading,
love me already,
just write me
like you would
make love to a woman!"

messages from others employ
the self-same word r e p e a t e d l y,
you start to get the hint
very very v i g o r o u s l y

the rumbling,
the back-seat tumbling,
you're driving
bipedal composing,
guitar and piano
gas and brake
pedals to the mettle,
and the speed limit
was 15 mph under
where your brain is fermenting

all tuning you up to
meet the guild's
product quality standards,
yet unlike an automobile,
a poem, like a life,
has a unique DNA,
cannot just be
recalled,
for repair
and additional tinkering,
jes' because
once it is out there,
it has been outed

sure enough in my
my "started but ***" file,
a lazy layabout,
overlooked and undercooked,
the poem below,
a dabble and a muddle,
so ignored, so berefted
for so long
it got this
special introduction
by way of an apology....

Incarnate**

She is my poem incarnate
She is the carne of my body
She is the innate of my soul
She is my woman incarnate

she is all I need
in form realized and invisible imagined,
angel and thank god,
devil as well...
For p.c.
 Jun 2014 Emily
Joe Cole
The Journey
 Jun 2014 Emily
Joe Cole
Written a long time ago for a very dear friend.

I have to leave the safety of the house, make a deadly trip
For I must reach the mountain,  ascend its life giving peak
As I start to leave I hear my softly whispered name
And so I turned my darling and kissed you once again
So I turn, leave the house, into the gathering bitter storm
I go with the knowledge that your love
will keep me from all harm
The snow is falling harder, lying feet deep on the ground
My hands and feet are frozen,  I can hardly see or stand
I collapse,  frozen, no longer can I go on
Then I hear your voice call out to me
Take my hand, our love will keep you strong
Yes, I hear your voice but I don't hear a sound
But the love you have for me/ I have for you will keep me free from harm
I finally reach the mountains foot but all my strength has gone
But then your voice I hear, darling I will take your place
for you I'll be the one
I start to climb, weary,  spent,  my life is nearly done
But suddenly the clouds did part, I emerged into the sun
But for you my darling,  I would have left this earth
Thanks to you my love I still have life to live
Probably the hardest thing I've ever written and one of the few times I've even thought about what I've written.  My dear dear friend had cancer and I gave her the will to fight and so I wrote this as though the words were coming from her
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