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ln Dec 2015
In 60 seconds-
I could miss a train that I was supposed to board to visit my grandfather, when the doctors said there was no hope left
I could slip a step on the staircase and fracture my arm, the very arm that refused to help a stranger due to fear
I could listen to my best friend pour her heart out and plot a plan to ****** the very guy who broke her heart
I could miss a step of a dance routine and mess everything that we've ever worked for, for the past 3 months
I could set foot into the grocery store and be looked at differently just because I was born with darker skin
I could be left brain dead due to the reckless young teenager who thought it was hilarious to drive without his license
I could stand on the top of a building hoping I find the courage to fall off it, only to be stopped by the very stranger whom I ignored two days ago
I could understand that the world is in fact a never ending cycle-we are related to people in ways that didn't have to be physical, or by blood
We are bound together by the one thing that is common between you, I, he, she & we

We are bound together by the presence of - the heart.
ln Nov 2015
-
Do you know what it's like to look at everyday things

Only to think of ways that those things could help you **** yourself?
ln Nov 2015
I thought about it, a lot
But I never did it.
ln Oct 2015
; placing the weight of the entire world on my shoulders
; trying to fulfil everyone's expectations towards me
; breaking down when the pressure tears me into pieces
; not focusing when I'm supposed to be most focused
; trying to explain myself to people who look at me like I'm a joke
; ruining my dreams with negative thoughts of myself
; expecting so much from myself to the very extent of me wrecking myself if I don't achieve what I want
; placing myself in the midst of chaos and not knowing how to scream " I need help "
; letting myself drown over and over again, after trying so hard to lift my head above the water
; never being good enough for myself
; trying to make anyone understand the noises in my head
ln Oct 2015
i have fallen so hard
i have hit rock bottom
i have been on a spiral that takes me only downwards
i have been invisible, for as long as i can remember
i have isolated my soul
i have tried to let myself give up
i have stayed six-feet underground, mentally
i have been choked with despair
i have been swallowed by nerves
i have been consumed by fear, my mind and body withering
i have been torn into pieces, paper thin
i have been ripped off my opinion, my bones crying to be heard
i have been broken down into tiny fragments, each embedded on paper
i have left my thoughts everywhere;
in people, in books, in songs, in journals, in the rain,

but here i am-
i am on my way upwards
i am collecting the bits and pieces, i will not try to connect them
i am carving my path towards my dreams
i am being heard, i am a voice worth listening to
i am a part of someone
i am a part of something
i am growing
i am accepting
i am learning

my mind will be reborn, my body and soul surrendered to faith
my thoughts untangled, my feelings splattered like paint
my spirit is no longer blank-
*i am no longer a hole, i am whole.
For a friend.
ln Sep 2015
effort;
ˈefərt/
noun

to her, is studying during the wee hours of the morning
to him, is the time you spend asking how his day went
to her, is the lovely pair of shoes you got for her that flatters her dress
to them, is the days you showed up despite being ill
to him, is the admission slip into an ivy league university
to her, is the work you left behind to attend your uncle's funeral
to them, is the messages you send out, asking how they're doing

to you,
is to get out of bed each morning, even when you don't want to
is to accept that it is, by God's will that you are where you are
is to understand that your body is a gift and you will cherish it
is to learn that you don't live to please everyone
is to stand up for yourself, even when you are too timid to speak
is to fight for what you want, and never backing down
is to pick yourself up every time you fall, and come back stronger
is to fix yourself, piece by piece
is to unravel your mind &  live with the memories, even if they **** you

effort to you, isn't effort to her
effort to him, isn't effort to you
effort to them, isn't effort to him

but that is okay, we know you're trying

*we know
ln Sep 2015
Why would you tell someone that they're good at something even if you thought otherwise
Why would you tell someone that they're beautiful if you don't think they are
Why would you say that she isn't fat when your conscience is screaming for you to be honest
Why would you say that it was okay for him to be crying himself to sleep every night
Why would you say that it is going to be okay if you weren't sure

Just why would you get someone's hope up
To tear it all down,
Over and over again.


You didn't have to lie, all you needed to do was to shut up.
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