I placed the sheet music against my side
The hot iron of the notes beat their way inside
Every strike of the mallet crushing it’s way in
Such a sad song, what a terrible tune
It hung in the pit of my stomach
Held by the fluttering of two song birds
Both with wings plucked from their bodies
They read aloud the music like an anthem
Knew every tap in the ivory and stroke of the clock
I dream now with earmuffs,
Anything to lay to rest their somber songs
Watch the ceiling as it spins and shakes
The eggshell cracking with every blink in the night
I’ve forgotten what it is to breath, the taste of a sunlit shoulder,
All I do now is play audience to their noise
No longer can I even hear my voice

I'm washing my ribs
Trying to wipe away this ink from my bones
These weeks numbers count down like some kind of bomb ready to break of its hollow shell
We lit the fuse the day those "I love yous" flew from our lips
I don't mind dying a martyr for your affection
All the shrapnel in the end  will be worth every second with you in my arms

what will it take to finally understand
the pattern in my lungs
and the reason for the air

These late nights and early mornings leave my mind wondering,
Examining the complexities i leave behind when I wake again,
Something about where the birds learned their songs
Or how the rivers knew which direction to run in,
I've dissected the smallest parts of myself,
Cut them open end to end to see what contents they held,
Hoping that somewhere inside myself held the answers,
I am learning the ins and outs of the thought process
How one triggers another, what a shotgun conversation,
Playing target practice with paper and a pen,
Writing in ink so I can't take back the past outbursts,
Rambling is easy when the mind is alive and the body is deceased.

Two fishing poles, a feather,
a leather jacket with holes
on both elbows, forty-four
dollars and change in
an envelope, some dope,
a pair of worn out cowboy boots,
a clay flute shaped like a bird
that can't whistle a tune worth a lick,
an unused bus ticket, a picture
of two kids laughing pretending
to fly; an eyelash in my eye.

I want to drown you so I can forget your face,
Pretend like you never existed here
because being here means you are real,
and this reality has broken something I once had ,
leaving me suffocating in my own silence

For the sands of time should be non-existent
as it’s abilities cannot be changed for just one love,
a love that can be forgotten but never altered,
a desire that can never be tamed but only burn brighter

And finally comes my downfall in this bottomless pit,
where only I stand alone in regret and solitude
For the fault here is mine,
For requiring something I cannot take,
rather only something that can be given with sincerity

But to leave this with dignity is too far gone to ask,
A wish of mine that can never be realised,
a pursuit of mine that can only be a paradox
instead of a fixed truth or reality

The unknown silence is killing me.

It is what it is
do not ask the why of things
a rose is a rose