i crave for the  blood flow

i cry for the **non-existent love

I made a promise to keep him safe.

9 times worse just in case.

I kept my promise...
I know what it's  like to be lied to...
It hurts, and it's insane...

But i kept my promise.
and i will again and again

A broken mirror,

A bleeding fist,

A sliver blade against a wrist,

Tears falling down to lips unkissed,

Ignore her and she won't exist,

She's not the kind you'll come to miss..

I was so close,
Last night,
And you stopped me,
Why?

Do you hate me,
That ******* much,
I'm hurting,
Broken,
Disgusted with myself,
Sick in many ways,

I don't see why you,
Insist to keep me here,
Let me go,
I know it'll hurt,
But let me go,
Because one big thing is,

I don't want to be here without you,
I told you that,
Yet I am,
So let me go away,
To another place,
And just stay there,
For a good bit,
We will meet up someday.

"I'm saying you need to find your happiness."
she said..

"You were my ******* happiness"
I replied..

"Were..."*
she said..

"That's because there is NO US and that was my happiness so I guess this is me until I die.."*
I replied..

I felt so happy for a while,
I finally felt okay,
But why did I believe I was getting better,
When I knew that I would sink right back into my usual self,
I am bad again,
I am worse then before,
And any hope that I had left,
Is gone.