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Lavina Akari May 2016
i burned everything i loved trying to keep you warm
i burned everything that mattered because
you said you liked the way the orange and red flames danced together, and that we could dance amidst them, but you'd already found a warmth in their chest.
i thought i was fire and you were gasoline,
but you were water. you were water.
Lavina Akari May 2016
I don't want you to be soft, he said
I want you sharp at every edge
a walking razor blade, with a cold heart
I want to touch you and bleed, he said
I want to chase you for all eternity
and I never want you to turn around and invite me into your arms

I don't want you to be soft, he said
I didn't want you to love me back
I want you to be the ice my embers are trying to melt
I need you to be the December mornings to soothe the burns from my every day life
I need your winter to be harsh and beat me down

I don't want you to be soft, he said
I don't want to feel your love
I don't want your warm spring or your flowers
I don't want to feel your glow
I want to touch you and bleed, he said
I don't want you to be soft.
Lavina Akari May 2016
i am sacred, i am a ******* temple and no one is allowed inside of me.
you are not allowed inside of me, be it between my legs or inside my brain. the last time you were inside me you forced poetry down my throat and we fell asleep but when i woke up in the morning choking you were nowhere to be found. you had fled and left me to drown in your lies. my walls are crumbling and i am inside re-plastering my skull and i do not appreciate your nose knocking down my hard work. when i ask for silence i do not expect noise, white noise like flies buzzing around inside my brain driving me insane. i just want silence. when i ask for love i do not expect to be handed a shrivelled and frozen heart and i did not say you could rip my beating pump from my chest. i did not want us to swap so you could go and love someone else and i was stuck with no emotions, incapable to feel anything. i did not ask to turn blue. when i told you to **** me i meant **** me, not with me. my head is not an orifice for you to stuff your ******* and false hope into. my head is a ******* galaxy filled and flooded with ideas and beauty and it is pristine and i do not appreciate your ***** fingerprints spoiling what i have spent years creating. i am sacred, if you are not chosen you are not allowed to enter and i expect you to take no for an answer, especially if i have repeated it four times. you do not have my permission to shove your anything into my anywhere because i am perfect and you are nothing and you will not make me feel like it is the other way around. you are supposed to look with your eyes, not your hands and you are to admire and not criticise because you know nothing of art. i am art.
Lavina Akari May 2016
pain makes others creative, why do i have to be the one
who becomes empty? i can't move my fingers properly.
my brain has rusted, it is covered in cobwebs and dust. i have tried so hard to make peace with my demons but they refuse to let me move.
they pierced their fangs into me and they are draining me of everything i once was. i am a limpless, grey figure in this white room and
i am invisible. it's shifting between complete numbness
and excruciating agony, they're rolling a dice each
day to decide which it is.
pain makes others creative,
why do i have to be the one who becomes empty?
Lavina Akari May 2016
i want to be able to write about
how complete you make me feel and i want
to be able to write beautiful poetry about how much love you give me and how
wonderful you make me feel but you do
not make me feel complete at all you make me feel more broken than i have ever been before and i beg you for love and you will not give me a drop and anything you do give me i am convinced it is fake but i take it anyway.
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love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me
WILL YOU ******* LOVE ME
Lavina Akari May 2016
YOU ARE ******* MAKING ME
ROT FROM THE INSIDE I USED
TO BE CLEAN AND FRESH AND
FILLED WITH BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS AND SUNLIGHT AND NOW I AM A
******* GRAVEYARD, A ROTTING CAGE FILLED WITH WEEDS AND PAIN AND TORMENT AND BROKEN PROMISES
IT IS SO DARK INSIDE
WHY DID YOU PUT THE LIGHT OUT
STOP IT STOP IT THATS NOT FAIR THATS NOT FAIR THATS NOT FAIR
Lavina Akari May 2016
I JUST WANT TO STAND AT THE EDGE
OF A CLIFF I WANT TO SCREAM
"LOVE ME BACK FOR ONCE"
I WANT YOU TO HEAR ME.
LOVE ME BACK.
******* LOVE ME BACK
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