Silent screams
                           begging for life,
                                                         dying on my lips.



Empty emotions
                         crying for love,
                                                  burning in my heart.



Torn thoughts
                         craving stability,
                                                       leaking out of me.





I'm a mess of opposites
burning inside,
trying to come out of sealed box.
I am nothing
and everything all at once.
I feel found and
lost,
close yet
so far
from everything I crave.
Everything is clear
and yet
nothing makes sense.

My only comfort as my tears fall with the water
Is the fact that I'm scrubbing away his hands,
His touch,
His lips,
His skin.
Washcloth against skin,
Red erupts from my pores,
But I don't care because
I need to get his scent off of me.
Just a whiff, and I gag,
My tears congealing in my throat.
Why me?
What did I do?
His hands were so soft,
But so strong, and
I could not escape.
Washcloth against skin,
I don't even know where to begin,
For he stripped me down to the very bone
And lay my soul and body naked.
His fault? Yes.
My fault? They'll think so.
Red flows down my legs because of
Washcloth against skin.
I drown myself in cherry blossom body wash,
The off brand kind.
My last thought before I stop the water is
"But I'm not even pretty."

Nothing  changes  if  nothing  changes.
Take a deep breath and enjoy your life.
Care about  peoples approval  and you
                               will be their prisoner.
Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.
Be brave, take risks, nothing can substitute
                                                 experience.
Follow your instincts.
Be curious, dream big.
Love what you do.
Love learning.
Keep an open heart &
a strong spirit.
                      Have fun.
No  matter  what  happens, no matter how
far you  seem to  be away from where you
want to be, never stop believing that you'll
somehow make it.

Have an  unrelenting belief  that  things will
work  out,  that  the  long  road   has  had   a
purpose, that the things that you desire may
not  happen  today,  but  they  will   happen.
    Continue  to  persist  and  persevere.
                                                                                           Jon York   2019

I need you to know some thing
I love you
I do
But....

Losing you won't end me
I love you
I do
But.....

I don't need you to love me
I don't need you
I don't
But....

I will never forget you
I won't forget
I won't
But....

I will let you go
I'll let go
I will
But....

I love you

...  

daughter
sister
aunt  
niece
granddaughter
nice
sweet
good girl  
baby faced
lost
unemployed
uneducated
questioning
wandering
stuck  
dissapointing
hopeful
sinful
alone
sad
happy
grateful.....

i am so many things  
but..
Who Am I?