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 May 2014 Laura Mankowski
Elle
I wish.. I hope.. I dream..

I wish
To evaporate
Into the books I have read
And movies I have watched
And to escape life
The healthiest and least sinful way possible.

I hope
To be understood
Accepted, forgiven, and loved
Though flawed
Who wouldn't want to be loved?

I dream
To write a book
Inspire
And cause happiness
To grow as a woman
Who not just sees
But sees through
Everything.
There's a difference.
 May 2014 Laura Mankowski
r
I close my eyes
Try to sleep
I see a wave of ink
A cloud of black
In water
No rhyme
No poem or verse
I'm going blind
I need a nurse
******* like cumuli
Hips as wide as a nautical mile
To get me back to sea
To help me see
To make me smile.

r ~ 5/26/14
\•/\
  |
/ \
It's been a year of heroes.
I've met so many of them
Since January.  

Ed Kowalczyk, Eric Church...
And Neil Gaiman today.
They were

All the same comforting
Base of blood and bones as
The rest of us.
 May 2014 Laura Mankowski
Jack
I built it
Brick by brick
Slathering mortar
Rebar pierced
Lines off center
Foundation firm
Concrete faults
Cemented sadness
Tall as it is wide

I built it
Contracted of stupidity
Designed in self-absorption
Blue prints of folded sorrow
Erected by a fool
No cranes needed
Drawn in teardrops
Fallen from your eyes
Collected puddles of my deceit

I built it…this wall
That keeps you from me
****, where is an earthquake when you need one?
Red, blue
and violet
Inside my mind, there is a riot
Gun fire
Bursts of desire
Will I rise higher
Or come crashing down
I always felt like I was meant for more than this town
But how can I escape
Design my own fate
When these walls I cannot break
If only I could reach out and take
My future
Pull it towards me so I can be there sooner
Oh, the irony
I want to escape reality
The painter of this picture is me
Too blind to see
I didn't even look at the canvas
Should have kept a steady hand
Scribbled all over it
Didn't give a ****
Now I’m left wondering who I am
Let myself decay
But I don’t want to waste away another day
So to myself I say, it is time for change
I have to rearrange the order of my brain
So things don’t remain the same
Gotta change my aim
Relight my flame
If life is just a game
I want to at least say I played
No longer will I sit out or be filled with self doubt
I’m going to love myself now
Or at least try
Life goes by in the blink of eye
If then ten year old me walked on by
Would they sigh or wonder why
I never tried
I never tried
I’m trying to look on the bright side
Always there will be high and low tides
All fears I must cast aside
The time has come to do more than just sit by
I want to see a change worldwide
So I have to start inside

A rising tide
Nationwide
To wash away this great divide
At this point I don't care about anything
Realization hit me like a wave in my face
knocking me down and leaving me lost at sea

I cannot help but feel like a piece of driftwood,
an inanimate object unable to feel any emotion
for you have thrown me out like some sort of trash

but I realize that I meant nothing to you, I only thought
just like I thought you loved me,
or believed you when you said you did

but your words are worthless
their meanings revoked
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