Please remind them as they sleep
That they're stronger than they think

Tell them that they make you proud
Soothe their sadness, fears, and doubts

Kiss them gently, hold them tight
Tell them that they'll be alright

Tell them just how much they're loved
By those around them and those above

And one more thing before you go
Don't forget to let them know

That you really are okay
Thank you for the visit and Happy Mother's Day

I hope when next we meet it rains
A light Spring rain that makes the flowers grow

I'll meet you in a fresh green field
I'll run through the dewy grass straight
into your arms

The misty air will mix with my tears of absolute joy
We'll hold each other and kiss wet cheeks

Then all around us wild flowers will shoot up
As if they too are as happy as we are.
Filling the air with their perfume
And blooming in colors I've never seen before

And there we'll be
Whole once again...finally together
All three of us sisters, never to part
You'll show me everything as we wait for
the rest to come

Until that glorious moment, I'll keep you in my heart
Where you've always been
Where you'll always be

We got together tonight
We laughed and had some fun
We joked as we ate dinner

We played games and had a
few drinks
We listened to music and talked
and talked

When the night was over, your
first born
Your baby all grown up, kissed
you goodbye

She still kisses you goodbye...

She pressed warm lips to
the coolness of your urn and
whispered "Bye mom, I love you"
Then gathered her things and drove away

I didn't cry though I wanted to
Instead I gave her her moment
and pretended not to notice
That even now, though you're gone...

She still kisses you goodbye....

I'll walk behind you
I'll lead the way
I'll walk beside you
Everyday

When you are frightened
I'll be brave
When you get lost
I'll light the way

When you're lonely
No need to cry
For I am with you
Day and night

I'll see you through
Your every endeavor
I'm with you now
And will be forever

As long as I exist I will love you
As long as I am me, I am yours

If after this life there's another
I want to spend it loving you more

I've tucked away each memory
I've memorized your face

My love will last forever
It transcends through time and space


For as long as I exist, as long as I am me
What ever life I live, where ever it may lead

I will always love you

There's dishes to wash
Dinner to be made
People to greet
All throughout the day

The cat needs food
The dog needs water
Let them out side
No time to shatter

The days are full
So many things to do
No time to break
No time to miss you

Until bed time....
That's when I cry
When the stars shine
and the moon lights the sky

I try to sleep
But I'm filled with sorrow
I hug your pillow
And wait for tomorrow

When the sun shines
There are things to be done
No time for sadness
My day has begun

So I put it away
In the back of my mind
I pretend you're just out
You didn't leave me behind

Until night time
When I lay my weary head
and once again I stare at your empty bed
That's when I miss you.....that's when I cry

I watch the news and see  the world in turmoil
I listen to the cries of my people and my heart
is heavy.  I pray for them.  I ask God to intercede
on their behalf....but

I watch it all and a part of me is disconnected
For me timed stopped when I got the news
"She's gone"  I heard my niece say those words
And yet they would not penetrate, I couldn't
take it in.

It couldn't be....I've been praying so hard for
her recovery.  I have never prayed harder for
anything in my entire life.  She can't be gone
It's a mistake, has to be.....but no, it's true
She's gone.

So for me, everything that has happened since
feels like it's happening to some one else.
Like I'm watching a show or movie and the
protagonist has to keep going even though her
heart is broken to bits.

I know I've done things.  Made decisions, some of them
very important.  I'm planning a memorial for her.
I've been going on but.....it doesn't feel that way.
Hell, I've laughed with my family, I've cooked for them
I've eaten with them, but every night when I lay me down
It doesn't feel like I've done those things at all.

How can I have?  You're not here.  I look over at your
empty bed and I talk to you as if you're in it but you're
not!  So all that eating and laughing and cooking and
cleaning and getting things ready couldn't have happened!
You're not here and nothing is right!

And why does my chest feel like it's caving in?  Am I dying?
No....I'm not but you did!!!  How though?  I prayed so hard!
God is real.  I know this.  I believe this with my whole heart.
So then why?  Why did he say no?

The next second I answer my own question and the
answer is....what does it matter?  It doesn't.  He said no
and that's that.  You're gone and I'm here and I'm trying
God knows I'm trying.  But nothing is right anymore.


I'm frightened that I will never feel again the way I
felt snuggled in bed looking over and seeing you
snuggled up in yours.  I'd drift off listening to
you breathe in sleep and in that moment I was truly
blessed.  And I knew it.  I swear I did.

The same way I know now that nothing will ever be
the same again.  I'll have to figure out my new normal
What ever that is.  The worst part is that feeling that
no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to shake.

I still expect you to show up.  I'm still waiting for you
to walk through the door when I hear a car door slam
outside, but it's always some one else now and even
though I knew it wouldn't be you it's still breaks my
heart into even smaller pieces every single time.

Will that ever go away?  Some how I don't think it will.
Not this time.  Not with you.  You were my everything
My best friend, my teacher, my mother.....my sister.
I feel lost without you.  I miss you more than I thought
I could miss any one.

I want you back.  I know it's selfish as hell, but if I'm
gonna be honest I want you back.  I want you here
beside me.  I wanna laugh with you, cry with you,
be afraid with you, go through hard times with you.
Because nothing is as scary if I have you beside me.

Everything is scary with out you.  Even breathing feels
like a betrayal to you.  I should have stopped breathing when you did but.....God said no.  So I have to keep going.
Even if I don't want to.  I promised I would look after your
girls.  Your beautiful daughters that you gave to me.

And I will.  Even though I'm scared.  Even if I'm broken.
I will help them and your perfectly amazing granddaughter.
She's holding on and I will help her all I can.  I promise.
I guess that's why I'm still here.  For them. So for them
I'll find a way.  A way to live with out you.  But ****...
It hurts.  It hurts more than any thing I've ever had to face.

Most of all....I just really miss you so much.   As much as I love
you, I miss you.  I promise to be  the best person I can be.
I'll give to those in need, I'll forgive when some one hurts me.
I'll love with all my heart that way God will let me see you again.
That's what keeps me going.  That thought.  That one day,
some day....I'll be holding you again.  We'll all be together
again.  Please God let us be together again.

When I'm scared or my faith is tested
You are there to bring me strength

When I'm confused or hurt
You bring me comfort

Together we faced loss
Over and over again

You have always been beside me
You have always helped me heal

You are my partner in this life
My friend. my brother.

I love you more than I could
ever describe in words

But on this blessed day
The day you were born I'll try

It's your birthday but
It's us your family that gets the gift

We get to spend this day with you
I know it'll be a sad one for you
But try to remember the good things

We are here with you....your girls
To spoil you as much as we can
To share with you our hopes and dreams
We'll have hard times, but we'll get through
them the only way that works.....together

Happy birthday little brother
I love you more than life it self

Thinking Of You

Lately you've been on my mind
I wonder how you've been
Miss you from time to time
I didn't know we were a losing battle
You walked away like our love didn't matter

I fell in love with the man you showed me
And the woman that I became
I learned so much with you beside me
Tell me when did it all change?
You know that I adored you
But my love wasn't enough
You found your home in the arms of another
With out a choice I moved on and gave up

Lately you've been in my dreams
It feels impossible that you would think of me
Never found my happy ever after
If you don't ask you'll never get an answer

I fell in love with the man you showed me
And the woman that I became
I learned so much with you beside me
Tell me when did it all change?
You know that I adored you
But my love wasn't enough
You found your home in the arms of another
Without a choice I moved on and gave up

I had a chance to move on
But I shut down, closed the door
I should've just let you go

I fell in love with man that you showed me
And the woman that I became
I learned so much with you beside me
Tell me when did it all change?
You know that I adored you
But my love wasn't enough
You found your home in the arms of another
Without a choice I moved on and gave up.

In the end Justice prevailed
In the end we chose Love
In the end we chose to fight
And.....we won.

Now real change begins....

She said that she loved us, that she couldn't live without us
She had secrets and needed our help
We sat by her side, held tight and all cried
and vowed she wouldn't face this herself

On our promise we made good, did everything we could
but in the end she needed more than we could give
She started out strong, then it all went so wrong
Now we don't even know where she lives

Through crocodile tears she fed on our fears
and took til we had nothing left
She packed up her bags, without one backward glance
Left only trash in the room where she slept

With our patience worn thin, she knew she couldn't win
She must find a new fool for his turn
Where they don't know she lies, she quietly hides
She doesn't care, just a new bridge to burn

But here is the twister, we still love our sister
and hope some day that she wins this fight
It may be, if we pray, very hard every day
We'll hear soon that she's found the light

Some times I catch myself smiling as I look at her.  
My sister, deep in concentration hardly notices.
She is no procrastinator!  If it needs doing, get it done.
That's my sister.  Loyal, smart, strong.  She is woman.
That's what a real woman looks like.
She is beautiful.  She is wise.  She takes no ****.
She has a silly side.  Some times her mind is in the gutter.
She makes me laugh.  She keeps me honest.
I would be lost without her.  She's my best friend.
Her daughters agree, she is an amazing mom.
She raised them alone.  She never puts herself first. Ever.
She is a wonderful Grandma too.  Yaya is what she's called.
No one beats her at anything.  Especially loving her family.
We get on her last nerve and still she takes care of us.
One day I know we will have to be apart.  For a while at least.
I dread that day.  I fear it.  Not because she won't be here to care for us, but because she won't be here.  She won't make me laugh or yell at me to move my body.  She won't be laying in her bed with the t.v on playing games on her phone ignoring the t.v but content with the background noise.  
She won't insist on sharing a room with me even if there is an extra room.  She says she'd miss me.  I love when she says that.  I feel special, loved.  
That's my sister.  I'm so lucky to have been blessed with her. I love her so much.  That's all I wanted to say.  Just wanted to tell any one that wants to know it, that there is a lady in this world that is amazing and wonderful and kind and smart and capable of anything she puts her mind into.  And I love her with all my heart.

I will hurt you
I will play you
I will swallow your heart

I can toy with your emotions
I will rip your world apart

Leave you hurting
leave you bleeding
Leave you gasping for breath

Just like some one
Left me reeling
ripped the heart right from my chest

I can't love you, though I want to
Now there's nothing left to say

I'm left empty
Just a dark hole
Where my young heart used to lay

Final warning
I'll leave you mourning
You will end up just like me

Hurting some one else that loves you
And the cycle just repeats

If you're here to break my heart
don't stay
If you're here to cause me pain
walk away
If you're here to end things
I know it's too late

It doesn't matter if you love me
It doesn't matter if you leave
I'll love you anyway
That's the way it's got to be

You don't have to be beside me
You don't have to hold my hand
You can go and live your life
It's okay, I understand

But my heart is stubborn
No matter what I say
No matter what I do
It will love you any way

So if your here to break my heart
Instead just walk away
Don't say you don't love me
Please....save me the pain

Because after all of it....
I'll love you anyway💖

We met by chance
We parted by choice

We loved completely
We still let it end

We lived with regret
We tried to reconnect

We failed

The time is here
Time for change
We need...
No...demand
for things to change.

but.....if you are out there
Stealing....burning....destroying
Then you are part of the problem.

That's what "they" want us to do.
They'll focus on the chaos
Distract with the anger
  
Then.....they bury it and move on
Nothing changes, suffering continues
The rich stay rich, poor stay poor
Black stays last.

Is that what we want to leave our children?
The same thing we had?
Or do we want to make it better?

Rosa Parks was a regular person
Living her life....
Then she decided, "No more"

We need to be like those before us
We need leaders to lead like they did
Those that made a difference!

Who will be part of the solution?
We need to stand united
We must decide what side of history
will we be on.
Can the great among us please stand up!
because....

The time is here
Time for change.

Once upon a time
A young girl was broken
She went on with her life
The horrors left unspoken

As she grew into a woman
Something wasn't right
She lacked sweet disposition
Always ready to fight

No one knew of her sorrows
No one knew of her lies
No one made it all better
They ignored all her cries

So she was made into a monster
And she found her prey
Now she was predator
Now she dealt the pain

No heroes are fighting
For our Princess
Instead the cycle repeats
And that's how the sad story ends.

You are beautiful
Like the spring time
Your scent a floral breeze

In anger like the summer
Your hurtful words blazing
Burn the heart of me

At times you are autumn
Your eyes reflecting calmness
Full of wisdom and peace

But mostly you are winter
Quiet, cold, and distant
A frozen land, that's lost to me

A poem by my niece Layla.  She's 10 now and this was a school assignment.  Her topic was Hot air balloon.

                             Look down
                       From way up high
                 The atmosphere crumbles
              Like picnic baskets in the sky
                               Floating

If you close your eyes tight
The tears take longer to fall

Breathe deep
Inhale.....exhale

There....the pain was never there at all

As night fades to dawn
Day breaks and the world carries on

When the sun lays his weary head to rest
Mother moon rises, to take a breath

Even as the stars dim away
And ready the skies for another day

Through it all, this much remains true....
My love for you

Some times you stand so close to me
Some times I catch you staring
At times you lean on me and sigh
And every time I shiver

Some times when you laugh your eyes seek mine
Some times you hug me from behind
At times I think maybe just maybe
And every time I'm hopeful

Some times you stay away so long
Some times you hardly speak at all
At times you seem angry
And every time....every single time

I miss you

Falling
Fallen
Fell

Losing
Lost
In this hell

Leaving
Left
Alone

Breaking
Broken
On my own

Rising
Risen
Hope anew

Standing
Stronger
Without you

Darkness falls and I am free
Hiding in the shadows suits me
I am silent as I walk, look no one in the eyes
I hold no conversations, I am tired of the lies
Cold wind blows, it rustles dead leaves
I stand and shiver as they dance in the breeze
Alone at last, city sounds fade away
Creatures of the night, slowly take their place
I take comfort in their nearness, I can finally breathe
I don't fear the dark, nothing here's as black as me

The sky is touched with dawn
As morning conquers night

Day is fast approaching
I sit still....waiting for the light
And think of you

Another poem from my niece Layla.
She gets so excited at the thought of sharing her words.
She is 9 years old and the light of my life.


                    Grateful


You should be grateful for everything.
Everything you have is special.
So remember, always be grateful
For every thing you have.

                            Love, Layla Gross

Secrets...
I have many
Skeletons....
A closet full
I've lost count of my regrets...
Endless array of excuses too

Memories....
I suppress them
Fears....
I push them back
They can't hurt if I don't remember...
Keep it dark, fade to black

Healing....
That's a fantasy
Healthy mind....
A far off dream
I'll never just be "normal"
Happy wasn't meant for me

Acceptance...
Thought I'd achieved it
Forgiveness....
Thought I forgave
Thought I put it all behind me....
Memories coming now in waves

Bits and pieces....
Keep on flashing
Pictures....
Forming in my mind
Wish that door would stay locked tightly
I'm afraid of what I'll find

How....
To keep it locked away
Close.....
The door lock it tight
Put the monsters in the closet....
May they never see the light

I need you to know some thing
I love you
I do
But....

Losing you won't end me
I love you
I do
But.....

I don't need you to love me
I don't need you
I don't
But....

I will never forget you
I won't forget
I won't
But....

I will let you go
I'll let go
I will
But....

I love you

Promises kept
Promises broken
Silence so loud
Words left unspoken

Every thing's over
Before it's begun
Why am I lonely
If you were the one

You said goodbye
With a look in your eyes
Yet the words that you spoke
Were nothing but lies

You spoke of forever
Happy endings to be
But the story you told
Was pure fantasy

Misery, my company
My world dressed in gray
Steady rain of sorrow
The sun has gone away

Silence so loud
Words left unspoken
No promises kept
My heart is just broken

No street lights
Darkness complete
Moon as a night light
Your hand in mine

I look up
Awed at the sight
The stars are twinkling
Just for us

We stole the stars

I smile at the thought
You squeeze my hand
I look up at you
You lean in and kiss me

We dance you and I
In the dark
Under the moon
Beneath the stolen stars

Two poems written by my great niece Layla for my sister (her grandma, whom she calls Yaya)  and me, whom she calls Lur.  
She wanted to use my real name and she sounded it out.  Lura is what she came up with.  I love her so much and when I read her poems my heart melted.  I told her I would share them and she got
so excited.  She wants her feed back so have at it.  fyi, she's 9 years
old going on 20!


For her Yaya....

Yourself

Awesome

You're the best

Awesome grandmother

and mine....

Loving

Unique

Radiant

Amazing story teller

I want you
But I don't want to

Lately I've been a little moody
I get triggered by comments made
on a video or a tweet or the supposed
leader of our nation spouting his views
on ****** assault victims....

The real victims....men and boys that
are being accused of a horrible act
Innocent yet treated like they're guilty.
Please, don't get me wrong.
Being falsely accused is terrible.
Any one guilty of it should be held liable.

But, after all of the victims, women and men alike
coming forward to tell their stories, he speaks on
behalf of the accused.....Am I stupid for being angry?
What really disappoints me are the people that get upset
when women react to such insensitive views.
They tweet or comment and I try to have conversations
with these people and end up screaming into a pillow!

I walk away wondering if it's worth my time to make
my point of view understood.  
Will I ever change any ones mind?
It's the black lives matter vs all lives matter struggles
all over again!
The argument of should players stand for the anthem!

Why don't people understand that saying black lives matter
doesn't mean ONLY black lives matter, it's a way of saying
Please remember!!!  Black lives matter TOO!  Stop the hate!!!
People of color are being discriminated against and we are tired.
So finally a man decides to protest by calmly taking  knee during the anthem aaaaannnd......here HE comes to manipulate the meaning of it all and makes it about disrespecting the flag and
our troops.  

And don't even get me started on gay rights!  To be treated like
second class citizens is ludicrous!  How fantastically absurd to
be told by your own government that you cannot marry the
person you love! And because life has to be just a little more
unfair the LGBTQ community are at high risk for ******
assault and hate crimes too!    

I realize none of this is new....I guess the Kavanaugh hearing
triggered me and I can't seem to get it off my mind.  I heard
Dr. Ford's testimony and watched as so many people, including
the man himself, come with more and more ****** excuses
and a half *** investigation and in the end he sits on the supreme court any way.  

I'll do my duty....I'll use my voice and vote, but I live in a red
state and I know it's an up hill battle.  One that may be lost.
But I've said my piece.  If you've read through it all, thank you.
If you agree with me, keep fighting. If you don't, I respect your
opinion, but I'll never understand it.

I shouldn't have been there
I better not tell
I shouldn't have dressed ****
I better not tell

I shouldn't have gotten drunk
I better not tell
I shouldn't have laughed at his jokes
I better not tell

It was so long ago
Better leave it alone
I'll ruin his life
Better leave it alone

He shouldn't have drunk so much
It wasn't my fault
He shouldn't have held me down
It wasn't my fault

He shouldn't have forced me
It wasn't my fault
He shouldn't have ***** me
It wasn't my fault

It wasn't just me
I'm not alone
Will he do it again?
I'm not alone

I'll tell my story
It wasn't my fault
I'm not alone

Me, you
Deja vu
Once again, I fall for you

I wish I were made of stone
So your words would never hurt me
I wish I were cold as ice
Then maybe I wouldn't be lonely

I wish I were made of steel
So my strength would never waver
If only I could turn back the clock
To a time when I felt safer

But I'm only flesh and bone
And your words have left me bleeding
My heart is torn apart
It's a wonder it's still beating

You made up your mind
Given me your final answer
What we shared is in the past
Time to write a brand new chapter

I will fix my broken heart
Some how piece it back together
It may never be the same
It'll bare this scar forever

But I'll be strong, I'll be alright
Though I'm not as hard as steel
And I can't turn back the clock
In time....my heart will heal

Warm balmy air
Ruffles your hair
Smell of smoke
fills my lungs

Sudden lean in
Sends me reeling
Taste of drink
upon your tongue

Bad boy image
I, so timid
Your hands gentle
as they explore

Touch so tender
Sweetest surrender
A little further
than I'd gone before

Beautiful and honest
Sincere in our promise
That we would always
be true

Convinced and so sure
Innocent and pure
You'd always love me
And I would love you

With eyes wide open I take a step
A pounding heart beats in my chest

Fear clashes with tenacity
I fear more a life of mundanity

I must find the strength that's within
A deep breath and so it begins

Today marks the start of my journey
I embark because I am worthy

And....so are you.

He loves me, he loves me not
We're meant to be, or so I thought
My heart is broken, the pain is real
I long for peace, from all I feel

I fake a smile, so no one knows
I mimic strength, lest weakness shows
I refuse surrender, I stand and fight
I must succeed, and so I write

The ink it flows, pours from my pen
It heals my heart, and I can breathe again

Minutes into hours, hours into days
The love I held so tightly, starts to fade away
The pain begins to lessen, the tears no longer fall
Seemed misery was forever but it's not that way at all

Those nights you haunt my dreams
Are now few and far between
When memories overtake me, I know I'll be alright
I know now what to do....and so I write

The ink it flows, pours from my pen
It heals my heart and I can breathe again
Yes, I can breathe again.

I thought I belonged in your arms
I see now that I was mistaken
You took all I had and never put back
At least not as much as was taken

I stood there empty and broken
You, had nothing to say
I shook as I cried when we said goodbye
Not you, you just walked away

Slowly I picked up the pieces
My heart, just wasn't the same
I played and I lost, payed too high a cost
I, the loser in loves foolish game

This morning it stormed
Lighting flashed, thunder rolled, rain fell...
All gone now

Just a sweet scent of rain in the air
And a steady wind are left to remind me
....such beauty

The birds celebrate with a cacophony of calls
That chase each other through the air
all vying to be heard

The trees dressed in their best
Dance in the breeze to their music
I sit, blessed to watch the show

It hits me, as it so often does
Most especially on days like these
God is such an artist....my favorite in fact

She wasn't just a "visitor"  she'd been here a while
She sat in her corner chair, word search in hand
She always had a blanket around her shoulders
A big bag filled with snacks open at her side

Some times she'd have company
Out-of-town family maybe or perhaps a friend
They'd sit and chat, drink coffee from a paper cup
But mostly, she sat alone

She'd always leave her corner neat and clean
During visiting hours a "newbie" would never know
That corner chair was taken....that was her chair
After visiting hours she'd stretch out and re-claim her area

We knew though, we'd never take her spot
We some times met at the coffee ***
"How's your husband?"  "The same...How's your dad?"  "The same"
"Keep praying."  "I will....you too."  

Then one morning I watched as she packed her things away
With tears in her eyes, she looked at me then slowly shook her head
As she walked passed me, we clasped hands for a moment
"Keep praying" she whispered, then she walked away

Perhaps it was just a coincidence....but
No one sat in her corner chair all day
She was only one person and yet...
The ICU waiting room felt empty without her

The lady in the corner chair

On the first day I sat
I stared at my hands
I silently prayed
Please...get better.

After a week
Things only got worse
Family began to show up
Some from far away.

I didn't know how to act
Seemed like a reunion
People greeted me saying
"Oh honey,  it's been too long!"

I wanted to scream
I wanted them to understand
My dad was dying!
But, I knew he wouldn't like it.

My dad would say
"Show some respect mija"
He'd want me to say hi
He'd expect me to greet my elders.

So I did.  Every time.  
Every newly arrived relative
I faked a smile
Then sat and silently prayed

The fear brings anxiety
The anxiety brings panic
With panic comes pain

Hope fades away
Depression sets in
guilt becomes your companion

The struggle is real
But it is not mine
She is the warrior

She fights
She reaches out
She crumbles

I watch
I listen
I cry

I am humbled by her strength
I am proud of her courage
I am broken by her sadness

But....I'm here....
For what ever she needs.....always.

I didn't want to kiss you
I didn't want to melt into you
I wanted to be strong
I wanted to push you away...
But I couldn't

I didn't want to cry
I didn't want to break
I wanted to be angry
I wanted to hurt you
But I couldn't

I was weak
I kissed you back
I cried as you held me
I want to hate you so bad....
But I can't...I just can't

Danger
Code red
We're both feeling the heat

Forbidden
We can't
Compelled, our eyes meet

Exigency
Urgent thirst
Pictures flash in my mind

Desire
Burning hunger
Our bodies entwined

Electric
Your eyes
Provoking gleam as you stare

Desirous
Ardent yearning
A most torrid affair

Savor
A moment
We planned it just right

Delicious
Each touch
As we keep out of sight

Bewitched
I'm hooked
Consumed by your passion

Elated
To know
That was only a fraction

Breathe
Gain control
All in good time

Inevitably
This night
We'll know pleasure, sublime

I can scream
I can cry
I can curse the sky
And still, nothing will change

I still cry though
I can't help it
I still ask why
And still, nothing changes

The pain is still the same
It doesn't lessen
It's ever-present
And still, I go on

I still cry though....I can't help it

If I could dance with you
Just once around the room
My dreams would all come true
....to dance with you

If I could kiss your lips
Eyes closed, hands on your hips
It would make my heart skip
....to kiss your lips

If I could hold you tight
In my arms, through the night
All in my life would be just right
.....to hold you tight

I can't dance with you
Or hold you the whole night through
I can't kiss you tenderly
....it's just not meant to be

But if I could....I'd be whole again

I remember you
Your eyes
Your smile
Your arms....

I remember you
Your dreams
Your plans
Your promises....

I remember you
Your passion
Your heat
Your love....

I remember you
Your distance
Your excuses
Your lies....

I remember you
Your anger
Your jealousy
Your accusations.....

I remember
When I had enough
When I walked away
When I felt broken....

I remember
When I found my strength
When I let go
When I stood tall....

Yes, I remember....

I cried today
Because I realized that I
no longer expect you
to walk through the door.

I don't look at the corner
of the back yard
expecting to see you there
working on something.

I don't plan our dinners
based on your favorite foods
or worry over when the food
hits the table.

We eat when we eat
We eat whatever
It really no longer matters
You were the picky one.

I cried today
Because I realized
something that broke my heart....
I'm used to you being gone.