once I was a child
but I was never innocent
because when my father told me he loved me
he did it with a leather belt
and a buckle that gleamed
each time it struck my already knowing body
pounding out years of masculine entitlement
I knew there were words he had heard his whole life
and in my blistered skin lied the understanding
women are less
best when subservient and quiet
so quiet I was
while I buried my head in freshly washed soft sheets
and tried to forget that this person
who hated me so well
also soothed me to sleep
told me I was beautiful
and that I could do anything
so quiet I was
he couldn't hear me scream
scream for the pain
scream for the mother who wasn't opening the door
to come rescue me
once I was a child
but I was never innocent

This fir is an old friend
She lends a punctual ear to no end
First shielding my body from the -
unforgiving Georgia sun then we
quietly face the beautiful ambiguity -
between dusk & dawn ...

Dust clouds puff up from beneath my feet
As I trudge the road towards my destiny
Into the future long and straight
Beyond all horizons it stretches
No room to deviate from the path
One false step invites the abyss
My heart is heavy my body weary
My bored mind chases the tumbleweed

Wait what is that distant sound on the wind
Music bright and cheerful leaping notes
Mingling with the song of laughing voices
Light spills out spreading joy on the stone
A sparking trail of golden breadcrumbs
Luring the tired traveller inwards
With the promise of the instant gratification
Of every whim known to man

The door swings open at my touch
I clutch eagerly at the outstretched hand
That twirls me into an enthralling dance
The charming stranger with flashing eyes
And an enchanting smile pulls me to him
The music ever louder ever wilder
Mesmerises me catching me in its web
I am lost in the dream drunk on the thrill

A patchwork chaos of images
Flickers in front of my shifting gaze
My feet cannot keep time to his melody
His demands exceed my human frame
Is there fire in those eyes horns on that head
The dance floor begins to dissolve in flame
Smoke drizzles upwards to cloud my vision
With one desperate snap I break his hold

I awake to a misty grey dawn
My body slumped stiff and sore
On the icy cold paving stones
But I lift my head to greet the day
Grateful for the breath in my lungs
The tears on my cheeks
The freedom in my heart
The solid road beneath me

A close escape a disaster averted
A lesson marked and learned
If you choose to dance with the devil
You will surely wind up in hell

Come hurl hurdles
Come hurl hindrances
Never will I loose grip
Heading to where I wish to be
Never will I swim, in depths of apathy
To strive, to thank, to forgive
I’ll faith it till I make it
So please don’t you lose faith in me

any more than the leaves
in autumn. As they turn gold
crimson and orange they break off
from the tree and fall.

I can’t hold on
any more than the emerging
butterfly from the safety of
the chrysalis. My budding wings
have spurred me to fly. If I hold on
I'll only die.

I can't hold on
any more than a snake shedding
his old skin. No longer can it stretch
to fit this body. It's thin and worn. And I
can't grow under a cloak with holes. It’d rot
the fibers of my soul.