the urge to be loved is slowly turning me savage.

credit is due,
years go by
& through the grace of whatever god takes credit
for my levels of super intelligence,
imagination takes me far to distant worlds.
-
charge your chakras & your crystals by the light,
feed your shadows in the darkness of the neigh
drawing near to your sun sign.
& sunshine will forever bring you purity.
-
how long is forever?
what tools do you measure?
what jewels do you treasure
in your chest?
near your heart source,
atleast try to keep your heart pure,
atleast the reward is much greater than the process.
-
lets try to measure progress by visual appearance,
find yourself in midst of forest,
seeking clarity & clearance
or your presence
or your pretence becomes you.
-
or your visuals become you
like your tongue is heavy & hold weight,
like whatever you say must pass through
pop filters,
& your sway is a simple dance to your own beat.
-
what level of comprehension?
how might you even see from the outside looking in?
remember,
judgement falls back onto the same soil.

sometimes tears are hard to find like clean air & clean water was,
before earth restored itself to golden age.
-
when rage & aggression falls as peers whom pressure you to use sacred energy as moonshine to heal self-inflicted wounds.
-
"be gentle with them for they are you."

why do you always look mad?
like the world let you down
then led you down roads that end dead.
-
your dull expression;
it makes me question what goes on within you,
is it eating you away?
will you go or will you stay?

i'm going one way then the other,
one way or another.
-
if one way isn’t flowing try a next way.
if monday isn't showing try a next day.

"come meet me in the middle of insanity
where the freaks come out at night to play in vanity.
they stay awhile
then turn up missing,
who's to blame?
the one that’s open
or the one playing the games…"
-
ill meet you in the middle
bring you clarity & peace,
bring you light years
of life energy
& show you how the freaks
come not at night
but they stay clear out of sight…
-

though the cracks in me are obvious,
& i sometimes fall apart.
i accept all of my brokenness,
though i’ve lost pieces of my heart.

what broke me, made me stronger.
it hurt but i gained hope.
gave me tools to last much longer.
i’ve found it was what i needed the most.

we are the lovers that loved just a bit too hard,
hearts barely pieced together with the most unreliable adhesive.
at any moment your heart can give in & die out
yet still you wander into the depths of the unknown.
you still explore & you still give your hearts away,
your will to love is such a beautiful thing.

i don’t see a dying earth;
i see everything we need to make our hearts pure,
define our tears,
dismiss depression
and wipe out fears.
i see that the most ancient sources connect us to the divine truth that is waiting patiently on the day that a dying humanity pauses for a moment to acknowledge,
show appreciation
and remember.
-
it’s not the world that has gone to ****,
it is the culture that has inhabited it.
there’s not a problem that we cannot see a solution to
it just depends on the window that you are looking through.
there’s not a god up in the sky,
a god of earth
you wonder why
made in its image,
you and i.
-
we hold the change that we so solemnly seek.
you think it’s gone cause
it’s been buried so deep.
but if you do a little digging,
search beyond your common mind
you’ll find your light,
uncover truth
&
see you’ve got to trust the signs.

in a world where every man stands for himself,
with low level systems
& light spectrum simulations.
i see blood in these red lights;
controlling hearts & minds
then leaving spirit zombie like.
-
its a time-shift.
its about time we come to shift.
new age,
new lay-lines.
new-earth,
new-paradigms.
-
though 10,000 fall at my side,
though ’normalcy’ & re-creation
will not to collide,
though systems try to **** off my vibe.
no death shall ever come near me.
-
we rise in frequency on the way to the higher realm of the crystal rainbow indigo earth.

it felt so good to feel nothing at all.
it felt so good to be alone,
in a world of my own.
im never searching for an answer,
yet always chasing my frustration.
& although i move a bit too fast,
i always find myself coming back..
to myself.
sometimes im running,
sometimes im too caught up to move an inch.
today im cashing in bad luck and pleading for a clean slate and
tonight ill be moving full-speed,
hunting fear under the moonlight.

who knows what tomorrow holds..

non-existent stillness,
making a mess of my psyche.
playlist of memories on shuffle
but i think my shuffle button is broken.
losing hope like a needle on carpet,
trying to hold on before it drop it.
trying to stay sane and in the moment.
am i really back to being sober?

it’s sad,
the things you’ve been through.
it’s sad,
it be the ones
who
claim they
love you.
but
don’t let it change you.
i’ve seen what all that pain do.
-

the school of ancient slave teachings,
disregard the 'negus'.
nothing new has came for ages,
& the land withers beneath us.
-
no leaders,
just teachers following a script,
unfit.
the youth are help-less
& they need us.
-
my 3 year old daughter
said she wants to save the "new-world";
we're all here on a mission
& im lost for words.

it’s hard to make things make sense
and i try not to vent
when i see pens and papers;
my friends,
my saviors.
-
i see nothing else,
i see only what’s sense-less
and
i saw nothing since this
journey to nowhere began.
this race that im running has ran
out of time and energy.
no pride so
no enemy,
no threat to my entity...
-
what exists isn’t critical.
one may seem too
individual.
when i look up at my visual
i see hope
and i see stars.
i see broken,
i see scars.
-
may your heart heal,
may you act as you feel
while being genuine
what’s real
will reveal.

in company of stars,
i hear the songs of the wind.
its 2am,
i should be resting
but there’s movement
here within.
sending gratitude and praises to the heavens,
i am here.
my mud is close to settled,
and my vision starts to clear.
though i rise and fall,
though sometimes i may stall
im in alignment with the universal,
one and all.

now suddenly i have eyes that see in layers,
the ground has found its steadiness
& all my truths are written in stone;
never changing in context but always gaining new depth.
-

seek you first,
you are the kingdom of god
and righteousness is yours to keep.

the goal is elevation.
consistent dedication
to complete separation
from everything that does not serve the person i am trying to become.
& though my value is downplayed
i know that this physical reality,
this ambiguous identity is not all there is to me.
i dare not subscribe to a world of lies
& desolation
disguised as everything i could ever dream.
i am more than what you see with eyes in collaboration with a mind stuck in a box
surrounded by mediocre thoughts
& needless intentions.
you say i am powerless because i see little value in this material reality
where appearance takes place of character
& the frailty that seeps though designer clothing is most genuine.

where i am from
ignorance is like a crown
worn ever-so proudly,
and detriment like softened blows
taken ever-so mildly.
       there is foolish pride here,
       there is no one to guide here.
everyone just cries
& complains all the time
& i guess it’s in the nature
of the poor
unconditioned minds.
i guess it’s what you do
when you know of nothing else.
i guess it’s what you do
when you know nothing of ones self.
i am of the few
that knows just what to do,
but if you are not popular
in society view
then who are you?
you do not matter.
they do not hear the words you say,
but it is fine
just save yourself,
they’ll see you tried to help
some day.
some day too late.

like i am hot or cold,
like i am white or black,
like some gleam in abundance
and others form a lack;
i am either
elated
and ecstatic
or drowning in a sadness,
either dancing with the angels
or travelling the madness.

the feeling of being close to you
ignites a special flame that’s within me.
like no one else ever could,
you tap into a deeper part of me
that has yet to be exposed.
no matter what,
you will always hold that place.

my spirit calls
and
my spirit speaks through writings on walls.
-
im still chained to third dimension,
it keeps me lowly.
im still caught up,
my attention is on all
that kills me slowly.
i thought that this was holy grounds,
now the grounds have divided.
somethings happening beneath the ground,
new stars have been ignited.
-
"ive never seen this much stars"...
i can say the very same.
the time is only here and now,
the earth has made her claim.

i'm liking this arrangement,
ever-glowing,
every growing,
ever changing.
-
while moving sacred through placements
& planetary gas-light;
forward flowing is the motive,
pay respects, still
to the past life.
moving pass life in a low phase.
new world,
intro to new age.

pick a poison.
drain it slowly,
hope it quenches your thirst.
swallow gently,
read the label.
though, that should have been first.
“how do you feel?
i hope it heals.
i hope it gives you what you need.
no blurry vision,
this is real.
what do you see?
i hope it’s me.
i hope it’s true.
ill always be in touch,
im always here with you.
just keep this bottle by your side.
your world and mine, they will collide.”

i would be lying if i said  i have clear sighting of what’s to come next..
im walking blindly.
without a care.
without fear.
without needing anyone to be here.
if it destroys me then ill die knowing that i stood firm,
by myself.
for myself.
without your help.
you won’t bring me to my knees.
you’re what i want
not what i need.

it got hard for you to trace back the truth
when you decided fame, names, & particular things
hold more importance than roots.
to pin-point a location
or ask questions would be inaccurately pointless
& so your effort goes wasted.
-
your mass is in-tune at masters feet,
a mono-tonish cluster ****
where the masses sleep.
they move like sheep,
they scurry,
in too much of a hurry to give a **** about making peace.
-
while you seek leaders,
might i invoke considerate thought
of how you can be one.
become the change,
become the strange-odd one out.
become the one who uses word of mouth as tool,
only fools use weapons as schools.
start from the seed
then take the lead...

& in the same breath you saved me & destroyed me..

spiral violent,
embrace anomaly
then you're halfway there.
what's a preference when barely anything exists?

it's a shame,
all rights reserved for human gain.
selfish and greedy,
lacking nothing,
still needy.

i don’t need your attention,
bet that got your attention.
sometimes i need your affection,
sometimes i grieve with intention.
not used to someone that don’t need you,
you don’t need me?
i don’t need you.
say what you mean,
say what you need to.
i need proof,
i don’t believe you.
-