follow dreams like you are madly in love with chaos
& spirals.
see purpose where you once saw boxes filled with empty-ness & insecurity.
seek truth beyond,
it lives within you.
only depth exists in being,
being vast,
being an empath.
being a psychopath.  
seeking new pathways?
seek paths that just might lead you down rabbit holes that leads to a straight road of prosperity & wondrous ways of existing.

i cant decide if where i am is healthy
or hell
in the sense of burning flames,
****** games
and all the names that come along with
particular things.
-
i cant decide if im in love with you or
with who ive painted you to be
in my latest piece of the lord and the lover.
im attached to the god in you,
distant from the parts of you that are learned and programmed
by the hands of destroyers of land,
the hue that keeps man in a color block that separates and desolates,
believe or not
im desperate for hands to hold
and a touch that knows when and where,
that wouldn't dare to let me linger for long...
-

you're too close..
you scare me.
-
please
spare me the 40 second speech,
your kind words
with undertones that speak for me.
they tell the story that i've heard like one too many times.
got one too many lines drawn
keeping out the bad guys,
and the soul ties
and all that tries to save me from myself...
who try to be of help but i cant help it,
im selfish.
im bottled up,
you felt it.
got issues un-dealt with but atleast im genuine...
i made attempts to let you in.

i never was
& i guess ill never be.
i didn’t change,
im just more focused on me.
more focus on what goes on outside of the opinion of those that could care less if i live or die..
or if im living
or dying...

i know that im not like the normal girls,
nor do i wish to be.
i like a life of serenity,
a life so full of mystery.
a little crazy,
a lot of different.
a savage dose of inconsistency,
& pure intentions.
so far from pretentious,
that’s how you know its real.

love me loud like lion’s roar
or love me none.
treat me proud,  
like i am but the only one.
make it known that i am yours,
down in a love,
down on all fours.
or down on two,
or bended knee.
a life with me,
extendedly.
forever
you & i
will be,
eternally.

with no need for a mirror to determine my reflection,
she shows me who i am,
and the nature of my essence.
she displays
me,
effortlessly.
without influence or judgement.
without adjustment
or renovation.
she's inspiration,
she's motivation.
she's stillness
without stagnance or a bit of hesitation.
-

do you ever have days where your head is deep in the clouds and you never want to come down?
or weeks where your bed is the only place you see yourself being for the rest of your life?
it’s like your soul is tired & you’ve slept 1,000 hours but you still never want to wake & your dreams are the only place you seem to come alive.
the days are short and the nights go on for days.

the girl that only shares emotions with pens and pages,
intended phases
or a sudden craze;
the girl once counted out
& counted days...
-
who knew freedom would actually come.

the sorrows of the world are heavy.
we are burdened by so much that its scary.
                                
all we need is love,
love is all we need.
if we all believe in love,
love will make us believe.

as things start to fall
and things start to fade.
its out with the old,
as a new light invades.
-
what seemed like tragedy
proved itself to be clarity.
insanity brought the most rare form of sanity
and im watching nations crumble,
fumble and fear.
as light beings start to appear and prepare for the shifting of poles
and
the switching of roles...

be patient
-
maybe you've never had to wait for anything.
maybe you've never had anything worth waiting for.

while they're asleep
i'm at the depths with the demons;
exchanging playful threats and understanding feelings
and fears
over spirits and beers.

first,
you fall in love with me..
then if its meant to be,
i give you the time of day..
which is very rare,
by the way.
-
now,
comes the challenge...
ive listened to your rants and empty statements.
ive heard you say you're lost and seeking placement
and i see that you're broken,
just as i am..
you're in need of fixing..
and just as i am,
you're afraid to admit it.
-
at this point,
i know where this leads.
so i take heed.
i run for cover,
or another.
i create space
in-between the place
where the magic should be;
will you find your way back to me?
-

this is not a love poem.. this is a trust poem! or maybe it's a lust poem.
a free-falling, free from failing, question if you must poem.

i feel everything so deeply, starting to feel like you complete me.
i know it's real because you teach me..without teaching me..
you taught me how to love myself. how to trust myself!
you made me feel like i was someone else & somewhere in the spur of my growth i realized i needed you most!
& in teaching me.. me.
you introduced me to you.
the idea of you seemed so perfect.
it was worth it but how can we make this work if
..we're this far..
but 'this far' feels so close, and the fact that being this far i still cherish you most.
& the distance doesn't disturb the connection.. the perfection that is your reflection is a reflection of how other men should be!
& when we reflect we'll see that this is the way it was meant to be!
               i want to be all you dream & be there with you as you chase your dreams.
i want to be there when you wake up, still there when you fall asleep ..
when you fall off i won't fall back always know that you can call on me!
  
& i wonder about your lips .. do they feel as good as the words they say?
& are you as warm as you feel from this far away..
    it's special how we connect, its a challenge
    it's reeling but it's a balance .. you keep me balanced.
                  *D.E.B

not looking for a lover...
only someone unafraid to become again.
aware of dangers, depth and death;
still in motion though curiosity poses as a threat.

the very heart of this connection relys on your consistency.
im in need of your persistence,
see
i need you consistently..
im not worried ‘bout the distance,
just make me feel your energy,
got this perfect synergy;
luv
i just need you here with me.



                              ........rub me down.

all of the things that are for me,
shall come to me.
all of the things that are meant,
shall come to be.
-
i put everything in its place.
only the good in my space.
im safe.
-

i wish you were a poem,
one i could write my way out of.
chained up in your words,
how do i break free of your love?
will i ever find myself or will i stay lost in all you've made me.
boy i was heaven in your hell,
i was everything you needed to be.

mr. distant lover, why you stray so far away?
left me here at war with all the things you failed to say.
i don't need your love.
but, my love you needed me;
you needed me to need you,
you needed someone to see the world through.

i'm feeling so alone & i'm wondering what will it take,
for me to feel at home in this space i cant escape.
why am i still lost in all that you have made me?
you turned my heaven into hell.
i'm here with no one to save me.
                             i will get up & i will find my way.
                             down in your love is where i cannot stay.
                            its my time to rise,
                              like the sun that shines my way.
                           down for your love is where i cannot stay.
it is your love that keeps me so far away.