I always say this will be the last time I write of you.
Your memories I dwell upon won't haunt me any longer.
You'll be the ghost of my past, holding the key that can open a box full of deep secrets, yearnings, and pain for what never was that can be opened at your desire.

But see, that never happens.
After all this time I still haven't moved on.

I think of you when I see an empty seat right next to me, wishing it was you to sit down and tell me how football is doing this year.
I think of you when I look at the stars and remember bouncing on the trampoline trying to touch them together.
I think of you when I see a clock, for we both know that the time that passed when we were together went by faster than we thought possible.
I think of you when I see an empty page of paper next to a pen, so ready to be detailed with intricate words and expressions.

You were a puzzle, a novel, a complete mystery.
And maybe you still are.
Perhaps it just isn't time to put the finishing piece of the puzzle, read the last chapter of the novel, and figure out the mystery.
But just think,
What if it is.

Don't let yourself fall in love with him
When a boy who gives you chills every time he holds you close, shows you his favourite place, don't remember the route on how to get there because when he's gone, you'll only find yourself going back there to get a glimpse of him one more time
Don't listen to his favourite song, for that melody will stay permanent with you wherever you go & the day he leaves you, you won't be able to listen to it without choking
Don't tell him to let go of his bad habits,  for you got your own too
Just because he got this positive mentality about life, doesn't mean he'll be good for you
And just because you two like the same bizarre things, does not make him your soulmate
And when the day comes where he stops putting as much effort like before, don't be expecting so much from him for you'll just be left hanging
Don't watch the stars with him, he'll contaminate it & you won't be able to look at the sky again without swallowing a mouthful of him
Don't let him enraptured you with his lovely compliments, just remember when he's no longer there, that you are beautiful too before he ever came into your life
Just because he promised & tells you that he loves you, doesn't mean he'll stay
Don't let the embrace of his arms be your comfort place, for when he leaves you everywhere you go will just be cold & chilly
Don't let him break your heart, but you're going to let him anyways
And when he does break your heart, you'll feel like you're dying. And it will feel like someone just ripped out your lungs & you won't be able to breathe. But just remember you will find someone better, because you deserve better
You shouldn't have fallen in love with him
-thrcy

You see it was different for her
Because she didn't want some guy just to ask her out on a date,
Or send her a daily text saying "hey".
She wanted for someone to love her past a typical "teen romance".
Her heart craved for someone to bring a sort of love that was unconditional,
A love that even if she was to walk away he would still chase her to the ends of the earth.
Someone to be her best friend, someone that would want and love only her.

And maybe that's why she fell in love with him.
She saw the way he looked at her,
She heard the way he said her name.
If only time wasn't so cruel, and distance not an onstacle.
But we all know that when it's true love, problems have no chance.

She prayed, she yearned, she craved for a love so deep.
So deep she wondered if it was even real.

I don't want to be alone.
Because everytime I'm alone my mind wanders.
It's as if being occupied has become my drug.
I'm scared to be alone.
Because it's in the quiet times you find who you are.
It's in the silent where your thoughts come alive.
And currently my thoughts are deadly and poisonous.
Filled with the power to overtake my joy.

Have I really given away this power?
The power of my mind?

I will fight.
I will fight to have joy.
And most importantly, I will fight well in the lonely and in the silent times.
Oh how I will fight.

Conflicted and confused is the state my heart is in right now.
Day in and day out I pray to my God who seems to be silent,
But I trust that He's working.
Because if this is never resolved,
If my heart remains a chaotic realm of disappointment,
He is still good.